When It Rains
by Havoc
Summary: Sera's quiet life is shattered when tragedy brings her to Xavier's school for gifted students. This is the end of the story. Let me know if you want to see more of Sera and Wolverine.
1. The Longest Night

The Longest Night

Just a note. This is my first fanfic. Be kind. :) All usual disclaimer junk.  
Thank you for your attention. Havoc.

Serendipity Jannhanson always felt safe when it rained. She liked the feeling of being surrounded by the water, yet protected by the walls around her. The thunder rumbling in the distance had a comforting sound, and the flashes of lightening had always seemed magical. Yes, she had always loved the rain. Tonight she was listening to it drum again her windows while half watching a late night showing of _The Simpsons_ and half reading a new horror book she had picked up that day at the bookstore. She was perfectly relaxed, reveling in the freedom that came from knowing that she had just finished summer school and now had nothing to do for four more weeks except let her brain relax and get ready for her new year at school. Sera yawned, and flipped a page in her book. Plenty of time before she had to think real deeply about that.

The peaceful evening was broken by the buzz of her doorbell, sharp and heavy; someone was really laying down on the thing. She glanced at the time. 11:12, much too late for anyone but Charm to be dropping by and he was out of town this week anyway. Plus, he would never ring like that, so hard that she was getting a headache just in the couple of seconds that it was taken her to get to the intercom.

Hitting the button, she yelled, "What?" and waited for an answer. The one she got chilled her to the heart.

"Jay? Jay, are you there? Oh, god, oh god, please be there."

The voice was distorted by crying, but Sera could still recognize it. Terry Hunter, a girl who had not only been her student for three years but was her neighbor and a friend as well. Sera had always harbored some worries about Terry's family; the girl took too many sick days and wore too many long sleeved shirts for Sera's comfort, but she had never been able to put her hands on any proof and Terry wasn't talking. Sera was betting, although not happily, that lack of proof was no longer going to be a problem.

"Oh, god, Jay, let me in, please."

"Terry? Terry, I'm here, I'm buzzing you up, I'm coming to get you."

She slammed her finger down on the door release for what felt like long enough and then sprinted out her door. She didn't really want to see what had happened but she had no choice; it was clear that Terry needed help.

She met the girl on the second floor, trying not to panic at how slow the normally energetic Terry was moving. Even from a distance, Sera could see the bruises on the girl's face and the shock made her swear. They had never touched her face before but they had lost their restraint tonight. Terry's elfin features were battered almost past recognition. The girl was crawling more than she was walking, going slower with each step.

"**Terry**!" shouted Sera, leaping the last few steps and wrapping an arm around the girl. Terry stiffened and Sera's mind automatically noticed that detail and added it to her worry. More bruising or something worse? Broken ribs, internal injuries? What had those bastards done to her?

Working together, Sera managed to get Terry into her apartment and locked the door. Thinking of how near Terry's parents lived and looking at what they had done to the girl, she threw the bolt as well. Terry had collapsed onto the sofa. She was trying to get her breath but the fact that she was sobbing was making it hard. Well, that and the pain.

Taking a deep breath and trying hard to calm down, Sera went over to Terry and touched her arm, concentrating as she did it. With her mind, she gently reached out and touched the girl's chaotic, pain filled thoughts. She gritted her teeth as the Terry's pain exploded into her mind before she could control or contain it. Damn it, if she was any good at this, she'd be with her family and not a teacher. Gradually, she managed to pull the pain into herself, not all, but enough to calm Terry. The girl took a few hitching breathes and her crying calmed.

"Okay," Sera murmured, "okay. Hon, can you tell me what happened to you?" It was hard speaking past the pain she took from Terry. Nope, she wasn't any good at this.

Terry started to shake again and Sera took a second to calm the waves of anxiety rolling into her mind. The shaking eased and Terry's voice, hesitant, hoarse, began to speak. "My parents... my dad... he hit me. I was... it was my fault. I made the the TV catch on fire... and then crying... I knew he would be mad, I wanted to get away from him...oh, god..."

"C'mon, Terry," coaxed Sera, smoothing down more anxiety. "C'mon, babes, you can tell me what happened." She was, she thought, doing a good job at not sounding sick.

"I tried to get away...Mom was yelling, putting out the fire... Dad was yelling, he was mad, I just wanted to get away... and... and..."

"C'mon, babes, keep going."

I started to fly. "I dunno, I was just off the ground all of the sudden, I couldn't stop it and Dad was going nuts then. He said I was an abom... abomination... in the eyes of God. A monster... he caught me, he started hitting...oh, god, Jay, it hurts so bad." Terry dissolved into tears then as Sera, too stunned to keep her own control, slipped up a bit on the calming waves.

"Shhh...shhh...its okay, you're safe."

Not very, her inner voice added, its not like her folks don't know where you live. Shit! They couldn't go anywhere until Sera knew how bad the girl had been hurt. Gently, carefully, she stretched her thoughts into Terry's mind and then her body. First she noticed the mutation, something she had been wondering about for a bit... firestarting... flying... there were probably technical words for all this but Sera had never been a scientist. Next her mind began cataloging the injuries...broken ribs, she was right, and one of them dangerously close to the right lung... kidneys bruised... what kind of bastard hit his own kid when her back was turned...? The kidney was going to be bad... many superficial bruises... The one on the head, that was hard enough to give a concussion. It was amazing Terry had made it the two blocks to Sera's place. The injuries were repairable, even as out of practice as she was, but that took time, something she didn't think she had. Think, woman, think!

"Terry?" The girl made a groggy sound. "Terry, you're badly hurt. I can fix it, or I can get us to a safe place. I think the safe place might be more important right now. If you want that, I can make the pain go away, not a lot, but a bit. Do you think your father will be coming after you? What about your mother?"

"Mom, she won't do anything. But Dad, I hit him and..and..it burned him or something. It put him out but... I dunno...he's never been this mad. I don't know what he'll do." Terry's voice was weak...the rib was poking her lungs. The concussion must really be rattling her head, too; the regular Terry would have asked a question by now.

"Safe place it is, then. I've heard of this places, it's a school for kids like you, kids who are different. I think maybe they could keep you safe."

"Kids like me? What'd you mean, kids like me?"

"Terry, hon, you flew. You know we did current events, you know what that means. You have a mutation and frankly this isn't the political climate you want to advertise that kind of thing in."

"I thought... maybe my imagination...?"

"No, I can... I can see it inside you... its nothing to be afraid of." Comforting thought that must be. The girl had just been brutally beaten because of it. Nope, nothing to be afraid of, your dad just thinks you're hellspawn.

"Jay...how can you tell...?"

"'Cause I'm one, too, honey," Sera said grimly, dragging Terry to her feet. "Lets get the hell out of here."

In the drive upstate, the storm had only gotten worse. The headlights of Sera's car could barely cut through the rain; luckily, the brilliant lightening was coming frequently enough for her to see the road. The only positive thing Sera could think about this whole two hour drive was that between the weather and the hour, she was pretty much the only thing on the road. And even then they had had some close calls. The only way Sera could keep Terry from being in so much pain was to keep part of her body and her thoughts connected to the girl, and the inability to concentrate on the road was frankly terrifying. She would have used her power to knock the girl out, give her some relief that way, except Sera remembered that people with concussions were supposed to stay awake. They had one near accident, almost being blown of the road by a particularly strong wind, and she had pulled her attention from Terry immediately to deal with it, probably hurting the girl more. Not only that, but once Terry had been pulled out of the sleep-like state Sera had been keeping her in, she had set the seat of the car on fire. Damn.

But finally, they were here. Professor Xavier's mansion, which she had read about in a teaching journal about adolescents. It had said he ran a school and that he could help people like Terry. God, she hoped so. Mutant Sera might be, and not a weak one, but Terry's strengths and weaknesses were nothing like her own. She had no idea how to deal with them or how to help Terry to. Plus, she thought grimly, let's not forget the violent psycho who had done this to her in the first place. He was a little too close to comfort. Although, this time, she was calling Family Services. She braked the car as fast as she dared, when the lightening had shown her near a heavy wrought iron gate. For a horrible second, she thought it wasn't going to be fast enough but the car stopped just short of slamming through the gate.

Fast as she could, without losing contact with the girl, Sera crawled over Terry to help her out of the car. Terry's grasp on reality seemed weaker; her eyes were just staring and Sera could tell she wasn't processing too much information. The girl needed real treatment, now that they were at a safe place. Getting out of the car was a treat, the rain so heavy they were both soaked instantly. Well, on the upside, maybe in a blinding rain storm, Terry couldn't accidentally set anything on fire. What would burn?

Holding Terry as upright as possible and cursing the fact that her small size made even a high school freshman taller than her, Sera stared blankly at the gates. Shit, now what? It was sometime after one in the morning, how was she going to get anyone's attention? She couldn't even open the gate, assuming it was unlocked, without dropping Terry and since they were already sinking into the mud that seemed like a really bad idea.

Luckily, all decisions were taken from her when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. The lightening flashed again- great timing- and Sera screamed. Standing in front of her, touching her, was a short, heavily muscled man. He wasn't smiling as the rain beat down on him, flattening what looked like longish hair against his scalp and soaking his flannel shirt and jeans straight through.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he yelled at hear, voice fighting with the sound of thunder. There was real threat in those words and Sera spared a moment trying to remember what else she had heard about Xavier... and the rumors of his X-Men.

"The girl!" she yelled back, wishing like hell she were a telepath. "She's hurt, she needs help! You have a doctor here, don't you?"

"This ain't no hospital," the man growled back.

"She's a mutant. She needs help. Please!"

When the lightening flared again, he was close enough for Sera to see his eyes. Blue eyes. They were staring right at her and all of a sudden, even with her attention focused on Terry, Sera felt a surge of some strong emotion. Not her own, not entirely, but nothing like she had ever felt before. Flashes of pictures, changing too quickly for her to make sense, seared into her brain, along with the powerful emotions. Drained as she was from helping Terry, it was too much. Sera's knees buckled and she went down, taking Terry with her. She had just enough presence of mind not to let go of the girl, hoping against hope she could still hold on Terry's pain. Then the world went black and cold and very wet. The last thing she remembered thinking was the hope that this strange man wouldn't let them drown in the mud.

Wolverine had been the only one to see the car drive up to the gates. He had been outside, the better to see the amazing weather in the process of destroying the grounds. Consequently, it had been his luck to deal with the woman and the girl. Even in the lightening, he could tell the girl looked like hell, her face more colors than the storm clouds above. The woman wasn't looking much better, soaked to skin, wide-eyed and desperate, hanging on to the girl like she couldn't let go. He had moved closer, trying to get their scent, see if anything was about this was a trick and that was when he had seen her eyes. And froze. They were hazel, some part of him noticed, almost more red than brown, with flecks of gold. The rest of him was just plain caught, stunned to his center. It was almost like he knew her, but he couldn't. At least, he thought he couldn't. Who knew, maybe he did? The next thing he knew, she had gone white as death and collapsed, pulling the girl's body closer to her as she fell. Out like a light.

Glancing back at the house, he sighed and reassured himself that at least Hank was still likely to be awake. Grunting, he knelt and picked up both her and the girl. No doubt about it, this was just going to suck. Cursing under his breath, he slowly made his way to the mansion.

"Miss?" said an unfamiliar voice. "Miss, are you awake?"

The words seem to swim towards Sera through dark water. Awake? Why wouldn't she be awake? she thought groggily. It was Terry who was hurt, Terry who needed help... Terry! She couldn't feel Terry! Where was Terry? She would be hurt!

"Terry!" she managed to yell, forcing her eyes open and at first only seeing the brightness of the room. "Terry!"

"If you mean your young companion, she is resting, although not well. If you are Jay, I believe she has been asking for you."

Sera blinked. Expecting to see the man from the gate, she had to look twice at the creature in front of her. Huge, blue and furry? She blinked again. Yes, huge, blue and furry, he stood in front of her in a lab coat and what looked like a swimsuit- makes sense, she thought fuzzily, since the whole world's turned to water- his eyes blue and kind behind his glasses. Well, she worked out stupidly, I did pretty much come to Mutants-R-Us. I shouldn't be surprised to see one.

"She's okay?" Sera managed to say.

The... man?... frowned slightly. "To describe her condition in such a way would be erroneous. To clarify, she has three broken ribs, a concussion, a bruised kidney and numerous facial and body bruises and cuts that will require treatment. She has been badly hurt and she lost consciousness not long after you arrived. Perhaps you could be so kind as to explain to us how all this this came to be?"

Shoving herself upright from the hospital like bed she seemed to be on, Sera could finally see Terry. The girl was in the next bed over, laying still, the bruises on her face standing out horribly against white skin.

"Later," Sera rasped, climbing slowly down. She thought she could feel every bit of Terry's pain, without even trying. Not a good sign, that. "I gotta help her."

"Miss, I assure you she is being well treated." A large, blue hand wrapped around her arm. "It is inadvisable for you to do anything beyond rest at this time." He studied her a moment. "Unless it is that you are her doctor?"

Confused by her fainting, frustrated and worried about Terry's condition, Sera pushed at the arm with her other hand and pushed at the man's mind with her own. "Close enough," she muttered, while doing her best to instill a feeling of certainty and confidence in her in his mind. Not easy; she could see his mental picture of her, colored as it was by emotion, and she looked like a drowned rat. One that had already died. She pushed harder and he relented.

"By all means, feel free to examine her yourself, doctor," he murmured, stepping back.

Doctor. Whoops. Screwed that up . Oh well, we see what we want to. She made her way to Terry's bed, grabbing a chair along the way. The sheer amount of time she had spent in Terry's mind that night made it possible to feel the pain radiating off the girl. Couldn't have that. She could fix this, now that she had time and a safe place. Wrapping her hand around Terry's limp one, she gently drifted back into the girl's mind.

Sera was dimly aware of the blue man speaking. Soon there were other voices as well, other people. She felt them near, their emotions- confusion, wonder, worry, surprise- pressed against the skin of her mind but she had no time for anything but Terry. She wrapped her thoughts around the girl, showing her, clumsily, how the body ought to look, what things needed to be fixed. She started with the head injury, without a doubt the worst of the bunch. It was a sullen orange glow inside Terry. Carefully, she channeled her energy to it, smoothing in, fixing cracks, working slowly and gently to make it right. She could fix this... she could... she owed Terry for all those time she didn't call the cops or family services... she could fix this...

Wolverine hadn't clearly thought through why he was staying in Hank's lab, having dragged the two strangers in. He told himself it was in case they were dangerous as if Hank, all 355 lbs of him, would be somehow unable to handle one badly hurt girl and an unconscious woman. Yep, that was real reasonable. Plus, he was soaking wet, still. Despite all that, he stayed and watched.

The girl, once separated from the woman, began whimpering softly, trying to get up and look for the woman. She looked dazed, unfocused, and her only answer to any question was, "Jay?" He could smell fear on her, of them maybe or for the woman. In the light, she looked even worse. Bruised, battered, and bloodied. The sight made him sick- she looked even younger than Rogue and he smothered rage at anyone who would hurt a child like that. It was almost a relief when she went down for the count as Hank touched the worst of the marks on her head. Couldn't be good for the girl and Hank sure didn't seem happy, but her crying had been eating at Wolverine's heart. Anything else, he could pretty much handle, but a hurt kid... he'd disgust himself if he ever started not caring about that.

Hank began tests, trying to figure out how bad the kid was hurt, so Wolverine focused on the woman. Was she the Jay the kid kept asking for? She didn't look like a Jay. She also didn't look hurt, so it was a mystery to him why she was out so deep. She looked like she was sleeping, except he had seen her fall. The night, whatever had been going on in it, hadn't been kind to her. She was still almost dead pale and her hair was drying in a tangled mess.

All this considered, he was as surprised as the next guy when, after she finally came to, she pushed past Hank as he questioned her and made a beeline to the girl instead. Well, that worked, he thought, almost amused. It wasn't everyday that he saw Hank plowed over so easily. He had to hand it to her, the girl was single minded and not inclined to share personal information. They only things they, well, okay, Hank, had managed to lean was that the girl's name was Terry and the woman was a doctor.

Wolverine stumbled on that last thought as Hank called Xavier down to the lab to meet the new... guests. He checked out the woman as she wrapped her hand around the girl's and seemed to zone out again. Okay, he didn't know many doctors and liked less of them, but she looked awfully young. Plus, did they usually dress in cutoffs, white dress shirts, combat boots and... He looked closer at the soaked fabric of her shirt... black bras? And were those tattoos on her back? Maybe he was just narrowed minded but he more convinced that she had somehow just bamboozled the good doc and he had no freaking idea how she could have done it.

Apparently that was a question he wasn't going to have answered either. He noticed her shoulders start to droop and leapt forward to catch her as she collapsed again. In the otherwise sterile air of the lab, he noticed that she smelled of cinnamon and rain. Her eyes, that amazing red-brown color, flickered briefly to his and she stayed coherent just long enough to mutter, "We really got to get introduced," before she passed out again. Rolling his eyes, Wolverine carried her back to her own bed.

Hank was staring, not as his newly unconscious patient, but at Terry's medical sensors. "The fun doesn't end here, boys and girls," he spoke softly just as Xavier rolled in. "My scans are showing that Terry no longer has a concussion. And her bruises are noticeably better as well." Slowly, the large man turned to stare at the, if possible, even paler, Jay. "What exactly are you, my dear?"

Big surprise, she didn't answer. Neither did anyone else. Wolverine pulled up a chair. It was going to be one hell of a long night, that was for sure.


	2. Behind Velvet Curtains

Behind Velvet Curtains

Sera blinked her eyes carefully. She felt like she had just run the Boston marathon. Or possibly as if she'd been used as a great, big battery. She couldn't recall ever feeling this tired in years. Possibly ever. Hell, maybe she was dead. God knew the light in this place was bright enough to be the one people were always talking about. Groaning, she tired to bury her head under her arm and go back to sleep.

A large hand gently took hold of her arm, completely removing the option of movement. "I really must protest," said a voice that was almost familiar. "We have been postponing our completely justifiable curiosity about you and your friend until one of you, preferably you, rejoined the waking world. Now that you have reemerged, there are a great many questions we have your abilities, as well as what the two of you are doing in our domicile."

She stared up at the speaker. Large, blue, furry; it was almost a relief to know that she hadn't dreamed that.

"Y'know," was her reply, "a simple 'we've got some questions' would have sufficed there."

The blue guy grinned. "Yes, but this is ever so much fun." He turned to the man next to him, handsome, in an older, balder kind of a way. "Charles, I believe you have some questions?'

Charles? This must be the Professor Xavier who's articles she had read. She struggled to sit up. "Professor Xavier, she managed, I'm sorry to have intruded."

There was a bark of laughter at that. The man from last night, the one who seemed to catch her a lot, had laughed. Sort of. In the light, she could see him better, but remembering the night before and her strange reaction, she decided it would be better not to look at him.

Xavier ignored the disruption. "As to that, why did you choose her and not a hospital for your friend? Injuries so severe, perhaps an emergency room...?" His voice trailed off, politely begging for an explanation.

Well, she would do her best. "I'd read about you, you see," she began and then told the story from the beginning. How Terry had been beaten for being a mutant, how Sera was scared the parents would come looking for them and how, given the girl's mutations, she wasn't sure how a hospital would receive them.

"Interesting," murmured the blue man, "but none of this addresses my questions about how you were able to keep a girl with injuries so severe stable for so long or how you were able, once here, to heal so much of the damage. For that matter," and here he looked rueful, "how you were able to get past me and to her last night."

Sera stared at the unfamiliar faces, still being careful to avoid eye contact with the one guy. This was it, do or, well, probably not die, but wish to, time. "I guess I'm a mutant," she began slowly. "I never thought of myself as one, growing up. Still don't really, for that matter. The women in my family, we're all like this, have been for generations."

"Generations!" exclaimed Blue.

"Yeah, at least my great-grandma, maybe earlier. Generations."

"And what is the nature of your powers?" asked Xavier, plainly also fascinated. What was the big deal here? Weren't these people all mutants?

"I, well, we, really, can heal people. We're healers. Wise women. Always have been. But it's more than that. I can, well, I guess you would say I'm an empath. I can feel other people's emotions, can project my own on to them. That's how I made you think I had a right to see Terry, that I was her doctor. It was what you wanted to think. And, and I can take pain from people. I mean, it hurts, cause the only way I can do it is to take their pain into me, but at least it means that they don't feel it anymore. Sometimes it's all you can do for a person. Like last night, I had to take Terry's. It was the only thing I could do. Only I'd been taking it so long, and I'm so out of practice, that when I tried healing, I must have run out of energy. Never happened before."

She looked at Xavier and when she spoke again, the bitterness in her voice was obvious, even to her.

"You're wondering why I let it get this bad, why I let it come to this. If Terry was my student and my friend, like I say, why did I let this happen? I had no proof. Terry, she's fourteen years old. You have any idea of Family Services backlog or how hard it is to place a kid Terry's age? She'd have to be hurt... well, as badly hurt as she was last night, for them to consider the case. It's a rotten world. That's why I brought her here. You people, you care, you can help her. Terry's powers, they scare her, I could tell that. She doesn't know how to control them. And its nothing I can show her, I'm an English teacher, damn it, I wouldn't know what to do anyway. Hers and mine, they're way too different. But you, Professor, I read you take kids in, kids like Terry. Please, can you help us, help her?"

The conversation had exhausted her and she slumped back against her pillow. There was nothing more she could say and it didn't seem right to try and sway anyone's emotions now. This was a decision that Xavier, and who ever else he consulted with, needed to make on their own.

"I must think on this," said the professor gravely. He turned his wheelchair and began to push himself towards the door. Before he left, he turned to look at her and Sera could feel the sharp tang of his interest in her. "Meanwhile, you should rest. Your trails have exhausted you, Dr. McCoy tells me."

"And I," said Blue, who, by default, had to be the doctor, "will be checking on your Terry, who is currently getting some much needed rest. I am sure, however, that once she awakens, you will be the first person she will want to see." He bounded into a curtained corner of the room, where hospital-show like beeps and bleeps were coming from.

This left short, dark and growly. Sera tuned her head to face him, still cautious on the whole eye-contact thing. "Okay, so Xavier I've seen pictures of and that other one is a Dr. McCoy. Who are you?"

The man grinned. It only made him look slightly less intimidating. "Ain't you the polite one? Folks here call me Wolverine, darlin'. The kid," and he jerked his head at the curtain, "called you Jay. That your name?"

"Only if you're one of my students. No, it's Serendipity Jannhanson. Sera will do, anything else is a pain to say."

"Serendipity? Hell of a name."

"Beats Wolverine," she retorted and that barking laugh came again.

"You ain't scared of me, are ya?"

"What, I should be?" Except that I looked in your eyes last night and dropped straight into La-La Land, which is more than a little freaky. Nope, not scared. Lets just hang on to the thought that I was way tired last night and that the whole collapsing thing had nothing to do with you whatsoever. Reality is getting just a little too surreal.

It was then that Sera noticed that she was feeling curious... suspicious... predatory... She shook her head. Twenty eight years in her own mind, she knew what feeling were hers and which weren't. These were Wolverine's and she sure didn't want them. Carefully, she added some more depths to her mental shields, looking to block whatever she was picking up. The walls in her mind grew thicker, but the emotions stayed put, maybe a little fainter, but not enough to matter. This was ridiculous, she'd always been able to shield; she'd have gone nuts years ago if she hadn't been able to. She shifted her body, felt the flair of his interest, almost like he was inside her shields.

"What are you?" she muttered, looking anywhere but his eyes. Vaguely, she was aware that she had just switched the topic of conversation but she had frankly forgotten whatever it was they were talking about. "What are you?"

"Mutant, same as you."

"Same same? Like, you can project feelings and stuff?" Okay, that would explain it, if he were like her. She had never met anyone like her, who wasn't family. And female.

"Nothing like that, darlin'. I got me different senses, stronger than regular people's, more like an animal. It's how I could find you in that storm from hell last night. And I can heal fast, but just me. Can't do other people, like it looks like you can."

"So, not like me," Sera muttered. She could still feel him. She interested him and not like the professor's interest. Way more personal. What the hell was going on?

Since she was being so careful to not look at his eyes directly, that gave her a chance to stare at the rest of him. If he was going to be so fascinated by her, curious as well as almost totally without trust, she might as well return the favor. Her first impression hadn't been wrong. He was short, maybe not even that much taller than her. The height was belied by the fact that he was built. No fat on this man, just muscle and a lot of it. The hair, now that it had dried from the rain, was dark, thick and wild, standing up on his head like a wolf's ears. She shook her head. And people say I have no style, she muttered to herself. And yet, and yet... the look worked for him. She couldn't imagine him looking tame, or controllable in anyway. He practically radiated threat. He was, quite simply, unlike anyone she had ever met before.

No one could ever accuse Sera of being great at thinking a plan through. She was really much more a leap before you look person. And with that behavior so firmly ingrained into her mindset, she raised her eyes to look into Wolverine's, trying to figure out his presence in her mind.

She was expecting almost anything. Except what happened, which was to be totally sucked into the man.

The emotions were so strong that they were words, pictures. It was like nothing Sera had ever experienced before. She felt totally lost in this man's eyes; the world had vanished from around her, leaving only him.

_Old feels much older than he looks how old  
confusion rue beats me kid  
surprise you can feel me understand me how  
humor tinged with something bitter you're asking me bad choice  
confusion stronger now mixed with something almost like fear so dark here  
anger embarrassment I ain't led what you call a blameless life kid  
annoyance not a kid fascination light here too so many contradictions  
flair of hope the rise of a question yeah  
assent agreement yeah not all dark confusion now again missing pieces  
anger but not at her darkness swirls guess you can't see what I can't  
more confusion missing mental hand reaches out fix question hope  
negation can't fix what's gone darlin' no healing here  
sorrow insistence want to help  
refusal drawing away anger my mind girl_

__"My mind, girl!" Wolverine growled, and he broke away from her eyes. He couldn't help noticing she looked spooked now, those eyes that he was learning real fast not to trust were wide open but unfocused. He thought she looked both confused and embarrassed but he didn't really care. Despite the fact that he had lived with telepaths for years now, not one of them have had the gall to crawl around in his head like that. What was up with the woman? Did she do that to the others? "What the hell was **that**?" he finally snarled at her.

Sera rubbed her head, messing up her already wild hair. "I don't know," she answered finally. "Never had anything like that happen before."

She was being careful to look anywhere but at him, he noticed. Bummer she hadn't been that careful a few minutes ago. He growled, at a loss for words, actions and pretty much anything else. No doubt about it, he was starting to really regret ever bringing her into the mansion. And yet, he couldn't quite bring himself to leave. He told himself that it's because he didn't trust her- and he really didn't now, not after that little trick she just pulled- but he knew he was kidding himself when he told himself that was the only reason he was staying. He growled again, more frustrated than he remembered being in a long time.

To his surprise, she growled back at him. It wasn't a good growl; in fact, it sounded pretty damn weak, but it was a growl. Surprised, he looked at her face. She was snarling, her lips curled back over her teeth, eyes crinkled tight in a glare.

"What are ya doing?" he questioned, trying real hard not to laugh.

She shrugged, and her natural grin replaced the snarl. "When in Rome..." she began.

"Yeah? Well, you ain't real good at being in Rome."

"Yeah? Well, quit snarling at me and I won't have to snarl back. I told you, I have no bloody idea what happened. You think I want a tour of your brain?"

"I don't know what they hell you want!" Wolverine sounded feral even to himself and knew he couldn't stay down here any longer. She was driving him crazy. Snarling again, he surged to his feet, shoving the chair back as he did. It clattered noisily for a second and then was still. Sera was still watching him with her wide eyes, her body perfectly still. He could smell fear on her, and was glad of it. It was better this way, he was sure of it. With a final growl at her, he stalked from the room.

Only his enhanced sense of hearing allowed him to hear her whispered words after she left the room, I didn't mean to scare you. He kept back a roar of anger with difficulty. He was not scared of her! Cursing to himself and wishing he had never stepped one foot out of the mansion last night, he stalked up to his room. With luck and a long enough shower, he wouldn't smell her damn cinnamon and rain on his skin anymore.

Sera actually found herself growling even after the man who called himself Wolverine had left the room. Obviously, he really brought out the best in her. But she had never been so confused in her life and frankly, she couldn't even quite tell if the confusion was hers, his, or some weird mix of both of them. Being near him was electrifying and exhausting and just plain scary. She really didn't know what she was feeling here but she had a pretty damn good idea it was going to screw up her life.

"I see your self-appointed bodyguard has removed himself."

Sera pulled herself out of her thoughts and turned to smile up at the doctor. "Yeah, I don't think we're off to a real stellar start there. He always that touchy?"

"That would be an accurate description of Wolverine, yes. For all that, however, he's a good man." McCoy leaned down and checked her sensors. "You appear to be recovering from your exhaustion quite well, young lady. I think that we can get these off you in a reasonable amount of time."

"That's great. How's Terry?"

"Sleeping still. Its not an uncommon reaction to stress and it certainly sounds as though she has had more than her fair share."

"Yeah, she sure has. Can I see her?"

McCoy looked thoughtful. "Yes, I do believe so. However, you won't want those medical pads attached to you when you move. If you wish, I can give you a moment of privacy in which to remove them and then I shall whisk you off to your young friend." He bowed gallantly and she was startled into a laugh. He grinned at her- really, he was a very nice man, once you got past blue and fuzzy- and left the room, adding that he would return as soon as she called him.

That left Sera along with the sticky little medical pads attached to her. Gritting her teeth, she yanked them off her body one by one. Damn glue. That hurt! Finally she had pried them off her body. She supposed she ought to be thankful that they had just been put on her under her regular clothes and that she hadn't wound up in one of those awful little hospital gowns. Although that may have been because they didn't have any of those things here; as everyone had taken great pains to tell her that this wasn't a hospital. She called out to McCoy that she was set and he came bounding back in to the room.

"Excellent, my dear. I have brought you a wheeled transport to aid your viewing." With a flourish, he pushed the object towards her and she laughed again. It was an office chair, one of those little wheeled ones. "Allow me," he continued and before she had said another word, he had scooped her out of the bed and plopped her into the chair. "This way, Miss Jannhanson," he caroled as he pushed her to Terry's bedside.

There the levity stopped. Terry still looked like crap. Her face was multicolored from the bruises and there was still some dried blood on her arms and legs. She wore only her baggy t-shirt and Sera could see near every bruise. "Oh, man, kid," she whispered, staring. "Oh, baby, I am so sorry."

"Surely it was not your fault," interjected McCoy.

"Yeah? I could have stopped it. Wasn't like I didn't know."

"You gave your reasons to Charles and they were factual ones. You had no real evidence of the abuse and without it, nothing was likely to happen."

"I let her down."

"You saved her," he corrected.

"Not yet," she muttered grimly. "You keep medical records?"

"Of course," McCoy answered, sounding almost insulted that she had to ask.

"And they say how she was last night, when we came in?"

"In detail. I am a professional."

"Great, Now, you got a camera in this place?"

"And why would we need that?"

"Proof," was her reply and he couldn't argue with that. He bounded off, on a hunt for the Polaroid he was sure was in the mansion somewhere. Left alone with the battered and bruised Terry, Sera swore to herself that this was the last time anyone was ever going to hurt the girl.

It was while the doctor was gone that Terry finally woke up. "Jay?"

"I'm here, hon."

"Where are we? Are we at that place you told me about? The one where we'd be safe?" Terry was trying to sit up but Terry pressed her back down onto the bed.

"We are. I think everything's going to be okay now. They haven't said for sure that you can stay, but I don't think they'll turn you away."

"What is this place?"

"It's like a boarding school for mutants," was Sera's reply and she could feel a surge of denial from Terry as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

"I'm not like that!"

Sera shook her head. "Terry, you know that's not true. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone here is a mutant, so far as I know."

"Last night... you said you were too."

The older woman looked away but only for a second. "Yeah. I am, too. Only difference between you and me, kid, is that I know how to use my powers and you still need to be taught."

"You can't teach me?"

"Not this stuff, no. Plus, I think it's a little too risky, keeping you that near your folks."

Terry was silent, one hand twining around a lock of her chocolate colored hair. "Yeah, guess you're right." she said finally and she looked so young and so lost that Sera reached out, untangled the hair from the girl's fingers and took her hand.

"I'll do what I can to make it easier," she promised.

It was late at night and Sera had finally gotten the doctor- he told her to call him Hank- to let her go and get something to eat. He would, he explained, come with her. Terry was sleeping, again, and he was sure that she would be all right without him for the moment. Plus, Sera needed someone to show her around the mansion or she would never find the kitchen.

Sera was surprised by how much she found herself liking the good natured man. For all his imposing looks and size, he seemed the soul of gentleness and kindness. During the day, he had helped her with the work needed to report what had happened to Sera and to document the evidence. They were hopeful that Terry could be removed from her parents' care and placed somewhere more suitable. In the meantime, Hank was very sure Xavier would allow the girl to stay. There was always room for another student.

Talking softly, they walked into the kitchen together. While Hank made her a sandwich, she looked through the fridge for something to drink. There were several bottles of beer there, not a cheap brand either, and Sera suddenly thought there was nothing in the world that she wanted more in the world than a cold one. She grabbed it, twisted the cap off and took a long swig. Turning, she caught Hank staring at her, a funny look on her face.

"Okay, what'd I do?"

Hank looked very much like he was trying not to laugh. "Nothing very much. Only, you see, those are Wolverine's beers and he might be called particular about them."

"Oh, crap," she muttered, staring at the bottle like it was rat poison. "And we were off to such a good start."

Hank laughed then, a rolling guffaw.

"Ah, well," she continued, "begin as you mean to go on." And with that, she took another long swig.

She was on her third beer and feeling a lot better when Wolverine stalked into the kitchen. He was pissed already, she could feel it rolling through her mind like dark waves, anger so alien to any kind she had ever felt that she knew immediately it could not be hers. Forcing a grin as she saw Hank try to make himself small and unnoticeable- yeah, that'll work- in a corner, she put her feet up on the kitchen table and took another drink from the bottle.

All Wolverine had wanted was a midnight snack. He had spent what seemed like half the day in the Danger Room, trying to rid himself of the rage inspired by Sera's little trip through his mind. It was not, he kept repeating himself, fear. Or any emotion but anger. The woman was like an emotional sneak thief, creeping through people's brains like that. He just wanted some peace and quiet and a beer or twelve now, and then he was going to bed.

Twenty feet from the kitchen, he stopped dead and inhaled. Cinnamon and rain. His ears, now that he was paying attention, picked up on the rumble of Hank's voice and a higher pitch response that must be Sera. They were laughing together, Sera telling some story and Hank just rolling in laughter. He growled. So much for peace and quiet. He stalked into the kitchen.

Sera was sitting at the kitchen table, feet propped up like she had not a worry in the world, and she was... he stopped and stared, rage coloring his world red. She was drinking his beer! And not one of them, there were a couple of empties on the table as well.

"Sera!" he roared; there was just no containing it. Dimly he heard Hank excuse himself, saying something about tending to his patient. Wolverine spared the man no attention, everything was focused on Sera and her insolent grin.

"That's my beer," he snarled viscously.

"Yeah?" was her serene response. "You got good taste in beer, I gotta hand you that."

"Who said you could drink my beer?"

"Didn't see your name anywhere on it."

Wolverine grabbed the bottle from her hand. "I ought to dump this on your head!"

"Do what you want, but I gotta say, sounds like a waste of a good drink."

He froze, bottle tipped menacingly over head, and he could see her eyes crinkle in laughter, though he was now being extra careful of looking directly at them. Yep, no doubt about it, she was laughing at him. He had never met anyone, not in his whole life, who drove him as crazy as this woman. Without a second thought, he dumped the beer on her head, soaking her. She sputtered now, beer dripping through her hair, down her face, onto her shirt. What'd do you know? Thing went sheer again. Girl really ought to get a better quality of clothes.

Sera sprung up out of her her chair, which probably would have gone better if her feet weren't on the table. Chair, table and soaked woman got tangled, the end result being Sera on the floor under the table, with the chair on top of her. "You," she yelped, "are nuts!"

"Ya said to do what I want." It was pretty funny and Wolverine was completely fascinated by the colors she turned when pissed.

She made some kind of inarticulate scream and before Wolverine knew what was going on, bit him on the ankle.

"What are you? Insane?" he roared. She bit harder.

That was too much for Wolverine who had a long night and a longer day. "Snikt" went the his claws as he popped them out of his skin and leaned down to the woman who still had her teeth dug into his leg. He knew he was going regret going anywhere in the mansion barefoot but this wasn't exactly the reason that had occurred to him.

"Ya wanna let go of my leg, kid, or you want to be a lot shorter?"

It was an uncomfortable tableau. Sera, eyes wide, almost fearful but not quite as he was expecting, Wolverine with his claws against her throat. Neither seemed quite inclined to move.

All in all, it was not a classy moment for Jean and Scott to walk in, drawn, no doubt, by the noise of them yelling and Sera rolling around in furniture. They too, froze, obviously startled.

"What," asked Scott in his very coldest, least amused voice, "is going on here?"

Jean, on the other hand, seemed speechless, but Wolverine noticed a tightening to her lips that let him know she was trying her best not to laugh. He cast about in his mind, trying to find some way to explain this. It was especially hard, given that he couldn't place in his head why any of this seemed like a good idea in the first place.

Carefully, Sera removed her teeth from his leg. He was briefly thankful for his quick healing. That hadn't been any gentle bite; wench had broken skin with that and she had surprisingly sharp teeth. She swallowed carefully, looked up at the two newcomers and worked a smile across her face.

"Um, hello," she ventured carefully. "I'm Sera."

Wolverine felt, unaccountably, very calm. Yes, this all made perfect sense, there was a very good reason for all this... **no there wasn't!** He would never think any of this made sense.

He moved the claws closer to Sera's throat, really mad this time. "Quit the mind games!" he roared and the feelings ceased. Scott and Jean looked perplexed. "What are you, ethics free?"

"No," she muttered, "Just really bloody embarrassed. You want to get these claws off my throat before I decide I am ethics free?"

Growling, he pulled the claws in and spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out how to tell Jeannie and Scott what going on. Finally, he decided it was hopeless, growled again, and stalked from the room. Let little Ms. Manipulation find a way to explain this. And it better be a good one, cause as he left neither of the other two were looking real thrilled. It was almost worth a laugh. Once he got past wanting to rend her limb from limb, it was almost funny.

Sera rolled gracefully out from under the chair and table and to her feet, as if things like this happened to her everyday. The couple- there was no mistaking that they were a couple- were staring at her. Thinning her shields a little, she could feel a bunch of different emotions from them. First and foremost was suspicion. They had never seen her before and she wasn't exactly looking non-violent when they walked in. Right behind that was humor and a lot of surprise. Sera was fast getting the feeling that Wolverine wasn't exactly the playful type. Not that you could really call that whole mess playing. That thought in mind, she quickly wiped his blood off her mouth, thinking she'd look a lot more warm and fuzzy that way. They were still staring; the woman's eyebrow had quirked up, just the faintest bit.

Oozing confidence from every pore and reflecting that this was the most she had used her powers in years, Sera smiled again. How to use this to the best of her advantage and the worst to Wolverine's? He was definitely up for some kind of revenge, leaving her alone to explain this mess to complete strangers. "Sorry about that, folks. Foreplay." Disbelief and horrified amusement coming from them now. "Well," she added in a rush, Dr. McCoy will be wanting me back in the lab. So nice to meet you."

She made her get away as they stared in astonishment. She couldn't **wait** till that little story caught up with Wolverine. In the meantime, she had some questions to ponder. Like, how the hell did he get claws?


	3. A Variance of Dreams

A Variance of Dreams

Sera had chosen to sleep in the lab again, the better to be close to Terry if she needed anything, even a familiar face. Hank apparently had another room, but spent most of his time in the lab, working. As she watched him putter, moving from one station to another, he explained his work to her. Not any shocker, most of it went straight over her head, but since he really seemed to just want someone to listen to him, that wasn't a problem. It was surprisingly pleasant to fall asleep to the sound of his rumbling voice. Although, she reflected in the last few seconds she was awake, it probably wasn't going to make him feel real good about his ability as a lecturer.

She was woken in what she assumed was the morning- there was a surprising lack of windows in the lab- by Hank leaning over her.

"Sera, Sera, time to wake up."

"What? I'm up, I'm up!"

A disbelieving shake of his head and then, "Professor Xavier would look to see you up in his office. I'll show you the way."

"Gotcha." Xavier wanted to see her and not Terry? Belatedly, Sera remembered his interest in her, from yesterday. What exactly was going on here? They'd been very nice to her, letting her sleep off the effects of healing Terry, but she was only here for Terry. She had a life to get back to.

Hopping out of the bed, Sera put on her combat boots and laced them up. She didn't look the least professional, she knew that, and to some effect it left her feeling vulnerable right now. During the school year, she could look as adult and competent as anyone else, but it was the summer now and she had wanted to look like herself. Ought to have known that would come back to bite her in the butt. There were no mirrors here, no way to check what she looked like, but that was okay, as she could guess. Past experience told her the hair would be a hopeless, a tangled mess despite the fact it was only a few inches long. Her favorite white dress shirt was now stained, thanks to that little run in with Wolverine last and she was almost regretting the black bra. Oh, well, she thought, and added her mantra from last night of Begin as you mean to go on. Clothes did not make the woman. "Let's go," she said to Hank.

The walk to the office was silent and Sera spent a couple minutes wondering if the kids she sent to the office always felt this awkward on the way there. She was developing a whole new sympathy for them.

Once there, she was surprised and vaguely reassured. Xavier was seated behind a large desk, with the couple from last night- uh-oh- on either side of him and that was daunting, but it looked like Hank was going to stay. Sera took a deep breath and tried to look respectable and not like she had been biting people's ankles the night before. Hell, maybe she did need to get called to the principal's office.

"Miss Jannhanson," Xavier began, with no preamble, "we, that is to say, my associates here and I, have discussed bringing your young friend Terry into the school and have decided that it would be entirely beneficial." Sera felt some source of tension she hadn't fully noticed before dissolve. They were going to help! "We have also been discussing your rather incredible talents as well."

Sera could feel her eyebrows go up. "Excuse me?" she asked as politely as possible. Her powers? What powers? Compared to her mother and sister, hell, even her little niece, she was strictly low wattage. Hence the teaching English. She knew where her strengths lay. And where they didn't.

"Your powers," Xavier reiterated, "and the fact that you say they are generational. Henry," and here he indicated Hank, now standing behind him, "and I have spent years studying the mutant phenomena and we have never come across any group where the mutation seems to have been present for so long. Generations, as you say. And so clearly inherited, passed on from mother to daughter. It is unprecedented and entirely fascinating."

"No offense, Professor," interrupted Sera, "but I'm starting to feel like a lab animal here. It's not unprecedented in my family, we've always been like this."

"My apologies on the wording," responded Xavier. "That could have been more politely done. I'm wondering, how was it that you learned to control your powers?"

"Mom taught me," Sera shrugged, "just like she taught my sister and just like my sister is teaching her daughter. We just always learn, shielding, healing, using and controlling the emotions. This is who we are, and we teach it to our children just like you would teach table manners or how to put on and tie your shoes correctly."

"And that, you see, is exactly what fascinates us, that your family teaches this so naturally. It is something we have not quite mastered here." Sera continued to stare at him. She was pretty sure she knew where this was going and she was starting to get a sick, sinking feeling in her stomach. "Would you have any interest in staying yourself, as a teacher, as a member of our team?"

At this point, Sera did decide that ethics-free, as Wolverine so classily put it, was the way to go. She thinned her shields to almost nothing and then spent a couple of seconds processing the emotions swirling around her and who they were coming from as well as what they meant to her. Hank was clearly fascinated by her, but there was genuine liking there as well. He wanted her to stay, wanted to learn from her. Xavier's interest was pure research; she represented an unknown factor and one that he thought could help him. There were other feelings from him, fainter, that were harder to read. He felt... she stretched her mind towards him, that she would be helpful to him, helpful to... his plan? Damn, she couldn't quite reach it. The woman from last night was curious but trusting of Xavier. There was a little doubt, centered on the behavior she had observed in Sera and a little worry. It was something about team dynamics. The man's emotions were almost a perfect reflection of the woman's and that in of itself was intriguing to Sera. Close bond between those two, maybe even closer than they themselves knew. In addition to the woman's feeling, however, the man had concerns. She pushed farther; he thought she was too wild. She almost laughed when she saw a connection in his thoughts about her and his thoughts about Wolverine.

It wasn't that Sera could read minds. She couldn't, not at all. But strong emotions, such as the ones around her, emotions that people were concentrating on, like people do when they want to figure things out, or convince themselves or others, shaped very clearly around ideas. Sera would never be able to tell what words exactly that they were thinking, but to her mind, that was fine. So far as she could tell, people lied to themselves all the time, told themselves anything and everything that they wanted to hear. Emotions, now, those you couldn't screw with at all.

No one, she could tell now, was going to make her do anything she didn't to and that was reassuring. However, they all felt very strongly about her staying. They all felt she was a very necessary addition to their... team. And that she couldn't understand. These people were fighters, even Hank, for all he seemed so gentle; there was that feel to their feelings, that they could handle anything. So why would she, who was so not a fighter, be at all useful to them?

"Miss Jannhanson?" prompted Xavier and she could feel concern from him at her long silence. She wove her shields to their usual thickness again to shut the others feelings out. Too hard to talk and filter through other people's emotions.

"You all feel very convinced this is the right thing to do," she said thoughtfully and was slightly amused to see how startled they looked when she said that, especially Xavier and the woman. That would warrant looking into. "But I'm less sure. My gifts, they're nothing special. Why do you all want me so badly?"

"They are special," insisted Xavier. "Not only the gifts but the way your were raised to feel about them, that they were natural and right. So many of our students come here like your Terry did, thinking that there is something wrong with them. You can help change that mind set."

"Okay, I almost see the teacher thing. Except, that I'm an English teacher and have really never taught anyone how to use these powers to anyone else. In my family, that's a mother's job. I've got no kids. And plus," and here she tried to make her voice more stern; worked when she was teaching, but she felt a little out of depth here, "there's more you want from me. You think I can be useful in other ways."

Xavier and the woman- were they ever going to get around to introductions in this strange little tea-party?- looked at each other, again, clearly surprised. "Well," hedged Xavier, "we are very interested in studying how the mutations have manifested themselves, genetically speaking."

Silence fell. Sera thinned the shields again, and focused on Xavier. He was telling the truth but there was a feeling of concealment to him as well. Not the whole truth then. "And?" she prompted, seeing what she could do to keep the shields lower while she talked. Tricky stuff that, but these people were having too many strange responses to statements she thought were perfectly logical, and shock-free. Full disclosure was obviously not these people's stock in trade, not by a long shot.

Xavier nodded his head slowly in response to her question. "And it is possible we could see some uses for your powers as well."

Now Sera could feel herself getting angry. Pretty soon they would feel it, too; that was the obvious downside to lowering the shields that she would project as well as receive. "Uses?" she asked, her voice lowered in a way that her students found out quickly meant trouble. "And what uses would those be?"

Yep, they were feeling her emotions. She could feel their confusion at suddenly feeling angry. Snarling, she wove the shields back up, picturing them like rich velvet curtains between her and them.

"Uses," agreed Xavier. "Your ability to project and manipulate feelings, and your ability to manipulate the human body. These can have uses."

She was suddenly glad that her shields were thick. From the look on Xavier's face, he didn't only mean in beneficial ways. "I'm a teacher!" she gritted out. "And after that, a healer. Not exactly what you would call defensive or offensive powers. So what uses could you possibly be thinking of?" Go on, say it, she silently dared. Tell me how these can be defensive and then tell me why. I can't **wait** to hear this.

Xavier stared at her for what felt like at least a minute. She held his gaze the whole time, never once breaking eye contact. She could sense his surprise at that but didn't dwell on it. There were other answers she wanted more. Eventually, he began to speak.

He had, he said, a dream. A dream of a world where mutants and humans could live peacefully, in unity. That dream, it seemed, was constantly in danger. There was danger from regular humans who wanted to keep the mutants where they could see them, through such things as the Mutant Registration Act, which she remembered well. There were also dangers from mutants who insisted on their supremacy over regular humans, constantly placing them in danger. Finally, there were dangers from other mutants who constantly showed their species in the worst possible light and which the regular human authorities were almost incapable of handling.

All of this coincided with the rumors that Sera had heard about Xavier. That he was associated with a group of near out-laws, mutants who showed up out of nowhere to battle with other mutants. She watched the news, she had heard of the X-Men. And if she wasn't mistaken, Xavier had just tactically admitted to her that he was not just buddies with them, but ran them. Strange risk to take with a near stranger.

"So..." she began slowly, trying to process the information, "what you want is, basically, for me to join your team of superheroes. For me to fight on your side."

"Sera." It was the first time Hank had spoken throughout this whole meeting and because she liked him, she gave him the benefit of her full attention. "So far as I can tell, it's your side, too. Everything you've told me, us, shows that you feel humans and mutants can coexist peacefully. Indeed, it's the apparent that this type of peace is the only thing you have ever known. Do you have any idea of how amazing that is to us?"

Sera could feel her mouth curl up in a bitter smirk. So those long talks were an interview of sorts, then? And she wasn't surprised when he wouldn't meet her eyes after that. Figures. "What you guys don't get... sure, it was peace where I grew up, in the little town in the middle of nowhere where I come from, where hardly any leaves and where my family has been forever, where we're known. Out here, in the rest of the world, it's peace cause I can pass for a regular human."

"Don't you want more than that?" said the woman and it was the first time Sera had heard her speak. "Don't you want that peace you grew up with for yourself, for others like you?"

"You don't know me," shot back Sera. "You can't presume to make any guesses about what I want, who I am..." Sera's voice trailed off. Those funny glances between the woman and Xavier, their surprise whenever she said anything straight out. Quick as a thought, she tore the shields down till they were nothing but gauze. Some kind of a guilt there, some kind of a confidence about Sera's responses. "Or maybe you know," Sera finished grimly, "because you've been crawling around in my mind all this time! You're a telepath, aren't you?" Guilt and surprise then. Hit the hammer on the head, there. Sera shook her head in disgust. "Shit! And your buddy Wolverine said **I **don't have any ethics! What do you call this, good bloody manners?"

"Our apologies, Miss Jannhanson," started Xavier. "It was necessary."

"I'll show you necessary!" retorted Sera. "Necessary is you show me some place I can be by myself, pronto, away from you mind-crawlers. I don't know what I think about any this stuff you just dumped on me, but I sure as hell know your recruitment tactics need some serious work!"

Hank stepped forward then. He looked the most apologetic. With her lowered shields, he could tell he felt pretty lousy about how this had gone and it made her like him again, at least a bit. A small bit. "Perhaps you would like the explore the grounds?" he ventured. "I could take you outside?"

"And stick by me like glue?"

"No, Sera," he corrected gently. "And let you be by yourself, as you clearly desire. We would not do that to you."

Sera felt the smallest bit of her anger fade, in the face of his gentleness. When she responded, it was in a much cooler tone of voice. "Yeah, that would be great, Hank. I'd like that. Thanks."

He escorted her out, leaving the others in the room alone. Sera had never been quite so happy to leave any place, for all she could tell they had only the best interests of the world at heart. Can't see the trees for the forest, she thought to herself. But her, she would prefer to see the trees. Like this one here, next to her, hoping they hadn't pushed her away.

"I don't hate you, you know," she offered, after a moment's silence. "I'm just disappointed."

"Understood."

The rest of the walk outside was completed in silence. Sometimes there's just nothing to say, and no right way to say it, even if there was.

When they reached the door, Hank finally spoke again, sounding awkward, "Well, here we are. I'll make sure the others know that you're friend and not foe."

As that was the nearly the worst thing he could have said, given that debacle of a meeting, Sera just glared and grunted out something that might be taken as a thank you. He smiled hopefully at her, his eyes, surrounded by the blue fur, wistful. She grunted again, and he left then, giving her the peace and quiet that she wanted so badly.

The grounds were beautiful. Grass, flowers, trees, she could even see a lake in the distance; it was a good place to try and calm down, to look at this whole situation, incredible and unbelievable as it seemed, in perspective. It was, no doubt about it, the strangest conversation she had ever had and she couldn't make up her mind about whether she felt flattered or insulted that they asked. And then there was the manner of their asking... where they always like that, so heavy handed? Did they have the right, as they so clearly felt? Was any of this right? Damn, her head hurt and she doubted that it was even noon yet. She had no idea of what to feel or think or do. Going home and curling up in her mother's lap sounded pretty tempting but even her 12 year old niece was too old for that stuff and she was the baby of the family. So, it was left to her, to decide what to do. That fleeting thought she had earlier, about her life changing, she was obviously much more right than she could have ever expected. What a surreal 24 hours. Maybe she could go back in time, just take Terry to the blasted emergency room, this time?

She'd been walking so long that her feet hurt, that the lake that was once in the distance was now very near. Sighing, she pushed forward just a bit more, towards a rock that looked perfect for sitting on and contemplating the black hole of confusion that her life had fallen into. A few more feet had her there and she climbed up, wrapping her arms around her bent legs and resting her chin on her knees. It was peaceful, no sights of the modern world, just the water, the trees and the sky. The wheeling of the birds over the water was almost hypnotic and so much more restful than her thoughts, that she gave herself up to just watching, mind blank, thoughts still as the water. Her shields were at their tightest, a warm cocoon around her heart, allowing for only her own feelings. She felt curiously at one with nature in a way she couldn't remember ever having felt before. She let herself go with it, floated away on the contentment she felt all around her.

Wolverine had gotten up early to walk the woods. He wasn't as angry as he had been the night before but when the anger had faded, it had left confusion behind. He'd heard from Jeannie that Xavier was gonna talk to Sera about joining the X-Men and he couldn't figure out how he felt about that. He was, however, real clear on the fact that he wanted to be nowhere nearby when they had that conversation with her. She seemed a real independent thinker that one, and he couldn't imagine how it would go. He guessed that she wouldn't bite anyone else but even that he wasn't willing to bet on. And if she said yes... he was going to have to think about being around that obvious of a nutcase for who knew how long.

Wolverine growled, annoyed. Damn woman hadn't been out of his thoughts for any stretch of time since he dragged her and the kid into the mansion. It was driving him nuts; she was contagious, that was it, she just spread her craziness round like the flu. That would explain why he was feeling this way.

Unbidden, he could picture her in his mind. Not classically beautiful, not by a long shot, but eye catching with her wild tangle of black hair and those amazing eyes. Those tattoos, so barely visible through her soaked shirt, he wanted to see what they were. She was short, shorter than him, and her body was thin but had enough curves for a guy to tell she was put together right. Yes, she was. And to Wolverine, whose senses were so important to him, there were the other, smaller details. He was never gonna be able to smell cinnamon again without her popping up in his brain.

Hell, he could smell it now; cinnamon... and rain... and stale beer. Stale beer? That was no memory. That was real. Sprinting, he ran forward to the lake. He couldn't even bring himself to be surprised to see her, perched on a large stone, staring out into the water peacefully. Wolverine slowed, decided to approach quietly. Moving through the light woods easily he felt, as he always did, as one with nature around him. This was a world he understood, even better than he understood himself. No missing pieces here, he just part of the whole. He came out of the woods and stood behind her, surprised when she didn't react at all. Woman's got not sense o' self-preservation, she lets someone get this close to her.

"Wolverine," she said suddenly, not even turning. Her voice was calm, not at all surprised. Had she known he was there?

"Yeah, it's me. How'd you know? I know I wasn't making that much noise, not with how spaced out you were."

"I was feeling really in touch with nature," she replied, finally turning around a bit, those uncanny eyes of hers focused somewhere off in the distance. "Then it started to hit me as odd that I felt that at peace. So I figured it was you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ain't you got shields for that trick of yours? Jeannie can read minds, but she's not on all the time like you seem to be."

"Jeannie's the red head? And yes, I do have shields. It's just they seem to short out around you." She blushed at that, catching him by surprise. "And why," she seemed to wonder out loud, "why did I just tell you that?"

He climbed up on the rock next to her, since she was for once not driving him batty. "Obviously yer babbling," he suggested, as she scooted over to make room for him. She bared her teeth at him, but it seemed a half-hearted attempt to say the least. She was a lot less feisty this morning, he couldn't help but notice. On the other hand, it was probably good news that she didn't respond to everything he did by biting him. "Something botherin' ya, darlin'?" he asked, when it came clear that she wasn't going to say anything.

She sighed. "No, everything is just peachy-keen. Why do you ask?"

"I dunno. Rock in the middle of nowhere. You haven't drawn blood. You don't seem yourself."

She cringed at the blood bit. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Uh-uh," he said, a feral grin spreading across his face. "What you gotta apologize for ain't biting, cause that was almost funny. What you gotta apologize for is telling Scott and Jean it was foreplay."

A one-sided grin flashed across her face. "Nah. That was even funnier. You should have seen the looks on their faces."

Wolverine laughed. "Well, as long as ya did it for the right reasons then." A quiet pause followed. She was being careful-girl today, he couldn't help but notice. No eye contact, no part of her body touching his.

"Seriously, what's the deal?"

A longer pause. He thought she wanted to look at him but had decided that was a real bad idea. She seemed to wrestle with something in her mind. Wolverine. "You an X-Man?"

"So they did talk to you. Jeannie said they were going to. Yeah, I am. That a problem?"

She shook her head abruptly. "No. Yes. I dunno. Why would they want me? You, yeah, that I can see. Me? Harder. But, past that, why? I mean, man, I don't even make sense to myself here. Why are you one?"

"Why?" There was a question he hadn't thought about in a while. "Look at me, darlin'. Only," he hastened to add as she turned his eyes on him, "no weird stuff. Just... look." Her eyes traveled up and down his body.

He wished he could meet them; he had never realized quite how important eye contact was. He wanted, almost needed, to get some sort of a feel for what she was thinking. About the X-men. About him. "You see what I am. A fighter. Not really much else I can be. Seemed a good thing to fight for. Seemed a good group of people to fight with. Good people to fight for. That's important, ya know, to trust who yer fightin' for."

"So," she asked slowly, "you do trust him? Them?"

A pause. "Much as I trust anything, I guess."

"You do," she said, wonderingly. "I can feel it."

"Ah, hell. Feel it? You weren't kidding when ya said I shorted out your shields, huh?" Wolverine felt almost embarrassed. He had never given much of a thought to his feelings. He could hide most anything, but apparently not from her. He breathed deeply. Turn about was fair play. He couldn't read her emotions, but some things left a scent. No fear, but then, she had never seemed afraid of him. Yes... the faintest whiff of interest, her body showing her what her actions hid. Well, that answered the question of what she thought about him. He felt a rush a purely male pride. He had impressed a female.

"I can feel that, too, you know," Sera said quietly and he flushed. Quick as a snake, she took his face in her hand and stared him right in the eye.

How had this gotten out of hand so quickly, some small part of Sera's mind couldn't help wondering as she took his face in her hand and brought her eyes up to his. Not only could he slide inside her shields like no one she had ever met before, her emotions when she was around him seemed to spiral out of control. Some of it was him, that much was clear, but some was her as well. And a frighteningly large amount seemed to be simply them together. Not good.

Their eyes met and she was lost in a swirl of emotions again; primal this time, no words needed and obviously neither of them were really thinking or this never would have happened. Without breaking eye contact, she kissed him and felt the emotions flare; hers and his, insta-chemistry and not like anything else she had ever experienced, almost frighteningly intense. His hands grabbed her, his arms wrapped around her and some small part of her was afraid, remembering those claws that had come out of nowhere. But they stayed hidden, leaving only a strength she sensed he was just managing to control. Her control was gone; there was only this one moment in time. Only him and the riot of emotion swirling around them.

Gasping, she broke both the kiss and the eye contact, swearing. Looking shaken, he pulled back, following her lead. Sera concentrated on staring at the nice, benign lake. Calm lake, calm waters. She wasn't calm and neither was the man next to her, who still seemed to be holding on to his self-control by only the thinnest of threads. "Shit," she muttered, almost reflectively.

"No kidding. What the hell was that?"

"A problem, that's what that was."

The slightest shiver of anger there. "Wanna explain that?"

"It'll piss you off."

"So will you not telling me. This way, at least I got something clear to pissed about."

"I've got a boyfriend." Well, that was hard to say aloud. And her call was right; he was pissed, she call feel it shimmering off him, strong enough for it to be hard for her to control her own emotions.

"No. You. Don't," he spit out.

"Saying that isn't going make it less true."

"Dump him." A lower growl this time, his control slipping.

"You want me to end a three year relationship over some weird _thing_ I can't understand or explain?"

No words this time, just a snarl and another wave of rage. She held on to her own sense of self through sheer strength of will. He was scary like this, his feelings so overwhelming strong. She had always viewed herself as independent, strong willed and centered. She had never been easily pushed off balance but Wolverine was managing to. In desperation, she leaped down from the stone. A strong arm caught hers before she could run off.

"Where you going?" His voice was so low she could barely hear it, lost as he was in his anger.

"Away from here. Think it through and let me the hell go." Fighting her own emotions past his anger, she tried to project calmness. Fear would be bad, very bad. she couldn't tell if she was making any head way at all and then, suddenly, he let go.

"Go!" he gritted out. "Just go!"

She forced herself to walk, although she wanted nothing more in the world to run like hell. His emotions felt barely human, barely in his ability to control and she didn't want to do anything to make him break that hold. He wasn't just a fighter, he was a hunter, a predator, and if she ran, it would only invite a chase. Slowly, she walked back into the wooded area. She could feel his eyes on her the whole way.

Bloody hell. And Xavier wanted her here? That was a brilliant idea.


	4. All the Difference

All the Difference

All the Difference

All usual disclaimers apply. Sera, Terry, Charm and the Jannhansons are mine.

Half a day later and her nerves were still on edge. She had to admit, though, that it wasn't just Wolverine, it was everything. Xavier's suggestion she join the X-Men burned in her mind. In one day, they had completely turned her life around, spun her so far out of control that she still couldn't find solid ground to stand on. It wasn't that she disagreed with their, what would you call it? Their mission statement. It was just that they were looking at her in ways that she had never, ever looked at herself in. She was not a hero, or at least, not that kind of a hero.

Wolverine just added to the confusion. He was, in every way, the complete opposite of Charm, her boyfriend of three years. Wolverine was volatile, that was the only word for him, and he brought out that same behavior in her, made her wild and she had been trying for years to be calm. One of Charm's greatest appeals was his gentleness, his peace of spirit. Even if she did, by some chance, drop her shields around him, he was so at peace with himself and the world, it barely caused a ripple in her own emotions. He was the kind of guy you watched sappy videos with on a rainy day, while eating popcorn. She couldn't see any of that with Wolverine. No, with him, life would just be constant explosions that they couldn't control. Thinking back to this afternoon, and she just kept doing that, until she wanted to beat her head into a wall, she would bet they wouldn't even try to stop the explosions.

She had been busying herself with necessary work all day. The cops and Family Services had both been out to see Terry. Hank had used some kind of a thing that had changed his appearance to that of a normal man, albeit a big one; he explained he was more reassuring to authorities that way and right now what they wanted most was for people to understand that Terry was in the right place, a place where people would care for her and not hurt her. There were reports to fill out and charges to file, evidence and statements had been taken. Special for Sera was a firm talking to about taking a minor from her place of residence. Apparently she was lucky no kidnapping charges had been filed. Except, of course, that would have involved Terry's parents giving a damn and from what she could read of the policeman's feelings, that wasn't the case. She would bet money that they hadn't even filed a missing person report. What would they say? "Our daughter ran away after we beat her senseless?" That always went over well with the police.

As soon as all the paperwork had been taken care of and it had been agreed that the school would be a suitable place for Terry to stay until the criminal hearing for her parents, Sera sat down with Terry and, holding her hand, had fixed the rest of the damage down to the girl's body. Hank had reported that the other residents of the mansion had been curious about meeting the new girl and Sera didn't want Terry to have to deal with meeting new people looking like she had been used as a punching bag. Terry had always been so very careful at hiding the abuse. All day, Sera could feel her embarrassment, her shame at what had been done, the feeling so strong, so acidly painful that Sera could feel them through her shields, no matter how deep she made them.

Hank had decreed the best way to deal with the meeting was to just get it over with in one fell swoop, suggesting dinner. Terry had looked so panicked at the idea that Sera had to reassure her that she would be there with her. And they would find her new clothes somewhere, ones that were bloodstain free. Dinner with a whole crew of new people was actually not sounding real fun to Sera either and she looked nearly as bad as Terry by this point, but for this kid she would walk through fire.

On the whole, it could have been worse. There was a teachers' table, where Hank and Xavier sat with the woman Wolverine called Jeannie and the others that had been belatedly introduced as Ororo Munroe and Jeannie's man, Scott Summers. Actually, he hadn't been introduced that way but the bond between them was so strong, it was actually hard for Sera to think of them as two separate people. There's a fun fact to know and be damn sure not to share, Sera reminded herself. Everyone loves it when you comment on their relationships about five minutes after you met them. Scott still seemed displeased by her; apparently he was really that unimpressed to come in and see her biting Wolverine. Oh, well.

Wolverine. There was no missing the fact that he wasn't there. There were other tables in the room, sure, but no other adults. Sera looked around the room, guessing that this was probably the whole student population. About 30 kids, she figured, eyeballing them as about the size of her average class. All different ages here and no doubt, radically different abilities. Especially considering what kind of a school this was.

Sera choose to sit with Terry, who was still radiating panic but so well controlled that no one else could see it. Sera had been instantly engulfed by her tablemates, two girls- Jubilee and Rogue- and a boy, Bobby. They were talking animatedly to Terry and Sera felt pretty safe just smiling at the right moments and hugging Terry with one arm when the girl said Sera was her "bestest teacher!" With the other hand, she aimed a playful swat at the girl's head, but her eyes kept searching the room, though, hunting for Wolverine.

Wolverine hadn't been able to bring himself to go to dinner that night. It was hard enough, playing respectable adult around all those kids, being a good role model and all that stuff he never figured himself for, without having to deal with Sera. Jeannie had mentioned Terry and Sera would be at dinner and that had made his choice for him. No way could he look at her. Boyfriend! How in hell could she kiss a guy like that and then go and say she had a man already? And that kiss... she was like a drug, instantly addictive. He was gonna have to stay well away, if he didn't wanna get hooked. Course, after that kiss, staying away was pretty much the last thing on his mind.

He solved the problem of dinner by eating late in the kitchen, in solitary splendor. He had picked up some more beer in town that day, and even though drinking it reminded him of her, it was also the only way to deal with the fact that her car was still parked outside, proof positive that she still hadn't gone to wherever her home was. Why the hell was she still here? He kept getting little wisps of her scent, blown towards him by sneaky little breezes and it was driving him nuts. With an almost inaudible growl, Wolverine knocked back the last of his current bottle. Damn woman!

It was when he was rummaging through the fridge, trying to figure out where in the world the last of the six-pack had gone when Hank came in, humming happily to himself.

"Salutations, my good man," he said cheerily, passing the fridge on his way to the cabinet where the sweet snacks were stored. As he passed, a familiar scent once again tickled Wolverine's nose. The warm scent of Hank's fur, chemicals, and, yes, cinnamon.

It was like he had no brain. One moment Hank was smiling in an absent-minded professor sort of a way at Wolverine, the next moment, Wolverine had him backed up against the wall and was fighting the urge to pop his claws.

"You. Smell. Like. Her," he gritted out through teeth that were clenched so tight they hurt.

Hank stayed very still. Wolverine had no idea what would happen if he and the man who called himself the Beast actually got into a real fight, but it was clear the doctor was not planning to find out. "I can only deduce you mean the charming and ever delightful Ms. Jannhanson?" he asked carefully.

"Damn straight! And I think you got some explaining to do here, bub."

Hank seemed momentarily without words, which would be novel if only Wolverine could concentrate on anything besides the hideously clear mental pictures his overactive brain was showing him as ways Hank might smell like Sera. "Not that I think I have any explaining to do, my temperamental friend, but the young lady was merely helping me out in the lab this evening. Young Terry didn't feel quite about to leaving the medlab quite yet and so Serendipity was kind enough to stay and help me with some menial work I needed done in order to keep the girl company."

Wolverine took the scent in deeper and firmly told his brain that it sure didn't smell like any of the pictures his brain had gleefully provided had actually happened. Pissed at himself for giving a damn one way or another, at Sera for driving him nuts and Hank for having been close enough to Sera to pick her smell, he released the larger man and turned to stalk out of the kitchen.

"Wolverine." Hank's voice stopped him at the door. "Not to intrude on what is no doubt a personal matter, but perhaps Serendipity is the one you wish to be having this conversation with. And you may wish it to be soon; if she does continue on here, as Charles does so hope, you would do well to consider that she is a beautiful woman who knows her own mind and how to use it. I doubt very much she has a strong patience for testosterone driven displays of one's machismo."

Wolverine resumed his stalk out of the kitchen. There was nothing civil he could add to that. It was still early enough to find a bar that was open. Nobody there would smell like cinnamon. Or remind him of people who did.

He could have sworn he heard, as he stomped down the hall, the Beast add in a quieter tone, "And I'm neither blind nor stupid."

On the third day, Sera knew she had to leave. Terry was as acclimated as she was going to get while Sera was still at the school and all the police paperwork had been dealt with. There was no excuse to stay any longer. She hadn't seen Wolverine since she kissed him. Hank had mentioned only briefly that the other man was eating late in the kitchen. Obviously, Wolverine was avoiding her, which was just fine and dandy with her, cause she didn't want to see him either.

She did owe it to Professor Xavier to talk with him about his amazing idea of her joining his group. Even after a day, the idea didn't seem any less weird to her. She was a teacher; it was what she had always wanted to do. She had even moved out of the small, isolated town her family had lived in for generations, just to be what she wanted and not what everyone else expected. This job offer sure wasn't what anyone had expected, least of all her, but it made her head hurt to think about it too much.

The conversation with the Professor went as well as she could hope. She had tried to give a flat out no, but the professor had to be at least as strong a telepath as she was an empath and she could tell lying wasn't going to work. Eventually, he extracted from her the promise to give the idea some serious thought. There was, he reminded her, no hurry. Certainly he saw the need for his group for quite awhile yet. In addition, he and the good doctor were still both very interested in understanding the whys and hows of her mutation.

It was only when Sera expressed her intention of driving home that day that an expression of worry crossed Xavier's face. "Are you quite sure that's safe?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Didn't you say that Terry's parents live quite close to you? They seem both violent and unstable."

"I've got to go home, Professor," sighed Sera. "I've got a life, you know, and it's going to take some fast work to explain my vanishing as it is, without staying any longer."

"Well, then, at least don't go alone." He thought a moment and finally brightened. "I know, Wolverine can escort you home. I don't believe he has any commitments today and certainly he is intimidating enough that Terry's parents, if they haven't been arrested yet, will certainly steer clear." Obviously pleased with his brilliant plan, Xavier was already calling Wolverine's room.

Sera felt all her insides tie themselves into one huge knot. Terrific. Lots of quality time with Wolverine. That was just what she needed. Aside from that voluntary lobotomy she was going to sign up for as soon as she got home.

Wolverine, when he heard the news, looked about as excited as she felt. Actually, she knew exactly how he felt. His weird ability to get inside her shields hadn't lessened with increased exposure to him. He was both fiercely pleased and totally dismayed to spend more time with her. Yep, that was exactly how she felt.

Except that Wolverine didn't have to go home and then start lying to his significant other about where he'd been. And then lie by omission, since it would never even occur to Charm to ask about whether she had kissed anyone who wasn't the man she had been involved with for years. Yep, lobotomy was sounding better and better. Could they please cut out the part of her mind that wasn't thinking of Charm, or lies or Xavier and his superheros, but only of Wolverine and how much she wanted him? She would have given anything to turn and pound her head against the wall but there was no reason to give Wolverine that much of an idea about how she felt. There was a light in his eyes that told her he had enough of a clue already.

"Fine," she muttered, seeing that she was totally outmaneuvered here. And, deep inside, just as glad to spend more time with Wolverine, so long as it wasn't as it wasn't either of their bright ideas.

"Tell ya what," suggested Wolverine. "I'll follow you on my bike. That way, I got a way to get home and all."

"Excellent," agreed Xavier. "Ms. Jannhanson, I do hope you will give my offer firmly in mind. I hope to hear from you soon."

"One way or another, Professor, you will," agreed Sera as she shook his hand. "And thanks again for taking in Terry. I can't tell you how much it means to me, knowing that she's going to be safe."

She and Wolverine left the study then, Wolverine with a brief nod to the professor as he left. Then it was down to the lab to say her goodbyes to Terry and Hank. Terry clung to her for nearly five minutes as she said goodbye. "This is my phone number," said Sera, after finally being released. "You need anything, you just call me, okay? Any time for anything. I'm going to miss you, girl. Here I was hoping I could get you back in my room for your community service credits."

"Maybe this school has 'em," suggested Terry, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes without anyone telling. It wasn't working, not by a long shot, but no way was Sera going to say anything. "Maybe I can suggest 'em?"

"You do that," agreed Sera.

And then it was good-bye to Hank, who had become a friend quicker than she could have ever thought possible. He looked surprised when she wrapped her arms around his neck, the only part of his body she could wrap her arms around, to hug him goodbye. "I can't thank you enough, Hank, for taking such good care of her."

Was it her imagination or did Hank's eyes slide over to Wolverine as she hugged him? Certainly she could feel that Wolverine wasn't happy. A brief flair of anger and jealousy as Sera wove her shields as deep as they could go. Could she just not interact with men at all when he was around? The last thing she needed was him going all territorial on her. Like he had any claim on her at all.

"I do hope we will eventually meet again," said Hank gently.

"Me, too," she agreed and hugged him again.

The drive back to the city was much shorter than the one out. It helped that the weather had cleared over the last few days. All in all, Sera made good time, getting back to her apartment in just under an hour. Wolverine paced her car perfectly; there was never a time when he wasn't next to her or right behind her. The bike seemed very him, a huge monster of a black Harley, the kind she had always wanted and couldn't justify on her teacher's salary. He wore only a leather jacket for protection, and she would bet it was more for the look of it than anything else. Sure, it would be painful to regrow all his skin after shredding it off in an accident but apparently for him that wasn't a real problem. She snorted and was glad he couldn't hear her. What a man. She couldn't see Charm doing anything like that, even if he could heal anything. Which, of course, being a normal human, was totally outside the realm of possibility.

"Stop comparing them!" she muttered aloud to herself as she pulled up at her curb, with Wolverine right behind. "That won't solve a damn thing." And, she added silently, seeing a very familiar car parked across the street, it's going to actively get you in trouble. What was Charm doing here? She counted the days in her head again- she spaced sometimes, in the summer, when there wasn't any need to keep track of them, but still came up with Thursday. She could have sworn Charm wasn't due back until Friday, but there he was, long legs swinging out of the car and hurrying him across the street to her. Wolverine had gotten off his bike and was just in front of her, obviously protective. It occurred to her, dimly, that he might think Charm was a threat; it wasn't like she had mentioned what Terry's dad looked like.

Seen together, the contrast between Wolverine and Charm was even more painful. Although there was something about the former, some sense of life and vitality that drew her towards him, she could never call Wolverine handsome. Built, yes, and every inch a man, but not handsome. He looked like what he was, more wild than tame. Charm, on the other hand, looked every inch the Prince Charming that had earned him the nickname years ago. Tall, with dark blond curly hair, green eyes and a face out of a picture book. She had always been surprised that Charm wasn't more self-centered, the way she had always expected beautiful people to be, but he was as pretty on the inside as he was on the out. More often than not, Sera caught herself wondering what he was doing with her, but since she never felt the least bit of dissatisfaction from him, she tried not to let it get to her. Really, he was almost too perfect.

Wolverine was glaring and she could see his knuckles flex, could feel the desire to attack grow in him. Charm was looking at both of them funny as he crossed the street.

Putting a hand on Wolverine's shoulder as she passed him, hoping that would be enough of a non-verbal hint that this man was no danger to her, she ran up to her boyfriend. "Charm!" she cried as he wrapped his arms around her. Now she could feel Wolverine's jealousy clearly, much stronger than with Hank and hoped like hell she could keep him in line. "What are you doing here? You're back early!"

"Yeah, the meetings went much better than expected. I've been waiting for you, on the off chance you would come home soon. I got back yesterday and I've been calling." Letting go, he was now eying Wolverine with some curiosity. She could have read his feeling without an ounce of empathy. Who was this man and why was he with her? Bloody hell, could this get more awkward?

"There was a situation with that old student of mine, Terry. Remember, you met her? The one I was worried about?"

"Yeah?" He kept an arm around her and an eye on Wolverine.

"Yeah, turns out all my suspicions were right. They, her folks, beat her up bad the other night and I took her to this private school, out of the city, that I thought would be good for her. I'm just getting back."

"Right, okay," Charm answered. "So this is...?" and here he looked square at Wolverine.

Sera was still trying to figure out how to explain that this guy called himself Wolverine when Wolverine himself surprised her by gruffly saying, "Folks call me Logan." _They did_? Who the hell knew? "I do some security and self defense classes up at the school," _I bet you do_, "and the prof asked me to see Sera here home safe, just in case Terry's parents were around. The girl was hurt pretty bad, we didn't want 'em taking out their mad on Sera, if they couldn't get their hands on their kid."

"Well, nice to meet you," returned Charm a little stiffly and Sera hastened to make introductions, hoping to smooth the moment over.

"Um, Logan, this is Michael Warren, my boyfriend." Yep, there was that telltale jealous rage again. She guessed she could count herself lucky that Wolverine wasn't coming up swinging. She shot him a look, telling him without words to cool it.

"Yeah, nice to meetcha, too," was Wolverine's- Logan's?- answer. It didn't escape Sera's notice that neither man offered to shake the other's hand. Great.

"Well," said Charm coolly. "She's safely back so I guess your job here is done."

"Nah," said Wolverine, his voice just as expressionless. "If its all the same to you, I'll see it done when I see her in her apartment safe and sound."

"Right then!" was Sera's desperate interjection. "Let's all get up there, then." At this rate, she was almost hoping Terry's dad was lying in wait. At least then they would all have something new to focus their attention on.

No such luck. She would bet money Wolverine hadn't needed to walk her whole apartment like he did, to see it was clear. She had seen him take a few deep breathes and she could swear she saw his ears, almost invisible under all that hair, perk up as he listened for sounds that didn't belong. But still, he walked the whole place, Charm glaring at him the whole time, following close by, determined to be no less of a man. And raise your hand if your having fun yet, she thought, watching the show from her couch.

She managed to get Wolverine out quick enough after he couldn't put on anymore of a show. "The prof'll want to hear from ya," he reminded her as he left.

"Yeah, yeah," she agreed, steering him towards the door. Just at the door, and with Charm still watching- she didn't know who to damn more- he added, in a voice she seriously hoped only she could hear, "You belong with yer own kind, darlin'," and she did her best to shove him out, amazed at how heavy he was.

"Pleasure meeting you, bub," he called back to Charm as she shut the door.

They were alone now: she, by the door: Charm, on the couch, looking real displeased.

"So, she began gamely. I missed you."

So this was what screwed felt like.

Him? She's with him? Wolverine didn't know whether to be thrilled or amazingly depressed. Sera's boyfriend was a gentleman. A gentle man. Polite, soft-spoken even when he was green with jealousy, caring. What the hell did she see in him? The woman who stole his beer, who bit his leg, with a man she actually called Charm? Wolverine growled to himself, speeding the bike as fast as the traffic would bear. He needed a drink and he needed to be far, far away from Sera. Charm! It was enough to make a man sick.

"So," said Charm in a careful, controlled voice. "What was that?"

"As an English teacher, I've got to correct you; he was a who, not a what."

"I didn't mean the man. Not yet at any rate. I meant the whole situation. I go away for a week and you get delusions of grandeur?"

Sera almost laughed at the _Star Wars_ reference; their first date had been to go and see the movie when it was re-released. "I told you, Terry needed help. There was this private school, I thought it would be good for her. So I took her."

"Why not the cops, Sera?"

"I did call them. Just, from the school. Look, trust me on this, I did the right thing."

He sighed, clearly far from convinced. "Okay, it was the right thing. Excellent, you're a hero. That's great. But what's up with this guy Logan?"

Maybe those lies wouldn't be by omission after all. "Just what he said, that the headmaster of the school wanted to be sure I was safe when I got home."

Charm stared at her. "What am I, blind? That may be the what but its sure not all of the why. I saw how he looked at you and I saw how he looked at me. That guy wants you and I don't think he's real keen on me standing in his way." He paused, clearly thinking about what to say next. "He looks like a dangerous kind of a man, Sera. Not one you want to play games with."

Sera had a lousy temper and she knew it. It was one of the reasons she was with Charm, since nine times out of ten, he had a calming effect on her. Obviously, this was that fatal tenth time though, as his words started her teeth clenching and her eyes narrowing.

"What game do you think I'm playing here, Charm? The game where Terry gets the crap beat out of her or the game where its a realistic concern that I might be in danger from her parents, especially since the legal system is notoriously bad at keeping people like that behind bars? Were either of those the games you were thinking? Cause, I don't know, neither of them sound like that much fun to me. Wo- Logan was here for my protection, that's all. It wasn't either of our ideas but it also wasn't an idea either of us thought was bad. Okay, so maybe he thinks I'm good looking, what's the big deal there? It's not the first time its happened since we've been together and I'm sure that it won't be the last. You never cared before." She was keeping her voice calm with effort; what she wanted, irrationally, was to yell, and scream and tell Charm he was imaging things. But she couldn't bring herself to do it, seeing as how it would be such a huge lie.

"You really want to know what the big deal is?" and his voice was as calm as hers despite the fact she could tell he was just as upset. "What is the big deal is how you looked back at him. And that this Logan, this man you barely know, looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of me for being with you. But he didn't and I think it was because he could tell you didn't want him to. That's not a strangers helping each other out reaction there, sweetheart. I don't know if I want to know what that was."

All Sera could think for a moment was whether or not she had been looking back. There was no doubt the man fascinated her but she had been seriously hoping it didn't show. "I'm sure it wasn't what you think. Look, can we talk about something else now?"

"No, not really. I still have a few more questions. Such as who is the professor and why does he want to hear from you so badly?"

Sighing in relief, knowing it would have been a lot worse if Charm had overhead Wolverine's remark about staying with her own kind, she answered carefully. "The headmaster of the school and he offered me a job. He was very serious, says I'd be an asset."

"And what was Logan's reaction to this offer?"

"Why would he have one?" Careful now, although, come to think of it, that was a good question. She thought she could make a real good guess though, and it wasn't positive.

"Well, _hon_, I think I'd like him to have one. I think I'd like him to feel something. Because I would hate to think that you're thinking on throwing away three years on something that took three days."

"Charm, you're imagining things. First, I told you nothing was happening," she was going to burn in hell for telling lies like this, "and second, who says I'm throwing anything away?"

"You do." There was a pause. "In three years, you never once said you loved me. Do you love me, Sera?"

"Don't do this."

"Don't do what? Wonder if this relationship is going anywhere? Wonder who the hell this guy is and what you think when he looks at you like that? Wonder if you're thinking of this job and what that might do to us if you are?" His voice was lower now; an inside voice, she called it when talking to her kids. That was the Charm she had fallen for; quiet, able to pull himself back real quick, even if he lost it. But with effort now, she saw that.

It was like acid on her heart, the look on his face. There was so much he didn't know, so much she had never told him and here it was blowing up in their faces. Would he still be having this conversation, so desperate and so damn loving, if he knew she was a mutant? The pain in herself doused her anger faster than anything he could have said or done. Their fights were rare, but when they happened, they were always like this; fast and furious and always with the feeling of things left unsaid. When she spoke again, her voice was quieter. Maybe she had lost some of that voice, pushing it past all the things she couldn't say.

"Charm, this job offer, it isn't about you or about Logan. This is just one of those times in your life when you reach a crossroads. When you've got to choose." Choose and lose, one way or the other, her mind whispered.

"And what's your choice?"

"Oh, Charm, I surely don't know." Sera collapsed on the couch, feeling drained. "I wish I could tell you, cause that would mean I knew."

"I know. Your choice, I mean. I know you. You keep that Frost poem right by your bed. You're going to take the road less traveled. You always have." Charm's voice was curiously flat. "But has it made any difference, Sera?"

No answer for that. She was quiet, still, watching him.

"You never answered my question, Serendipity. Do you love me?"

"I love you, Charm." As much as I can. Who knew, she wondered, that lies would taste so much like ashes, that a man who just heard the words he had been waiting three years for could look so defeated? How had they come to this, she went on thinking as he kissed her and murmured a goodbye, saying something about work, how had it reached this place where she had to choose? Why couldn't things just stay the same?

She was a mutant. Terry was the first person she had ever said those words to, not even her own mother. Where Sera grew up, when she was growing up, that word had no meaning. But now, here, it did, and no little bit either. So here there's Xavier's school, where she could be what she always was, and it would be accepted, admired. Where she could show kids like her how to accept and admire themselves. And here's the world she lived and worked in, where it was a hypothetical question to be talked about with hushed voices in the staff lounge. "What would we do if there was a mutant attending our school?" they asked each other, never knowing they were asking a mutant, Sera's eyes hiding her feelings, like she had to learn to do when she moved to the city.

And Charm on one side, so quiet, so calm, so much what she always wanted to be. Hell, even down to the nuclear family, so different from Sera, who had grown up with a mother, a grandmother, a sister and later, following Jannhanson family tradition, a niece and still no men in sight. Charm thought she was normal. Charm loved the woman without knowing the truth to her. And in the other corner, there is Wolverine, Logan, who could hide what he was if he wanted to but didn't. Who knew what she was and let it piss him off, not because she was a mutant but because of how she was one. Two separate worlds, those two. Two separate roads to choose, just like Charm had said. If she chose the school, she didn't think she could keep Charm; just like if she somehow chose Wolverine, she didn't think she could keep the public school just a few blocks down, where she had worked for 6 years. There was just no way one world could fit inside the other, no way she could choose without turning her back on what she hadn't chosen.

There are some questions that have no answers and there are others where you simply don't want to know the answer. They were, she had always thought, impossible to tell apart.

Sera looked at her hands, resting next to her. Concentrated, looked at the blood flowing through her veins, looking so human but carrying such very different genes. It was only through her own mutation that she could see deeply enough to see the difference. Without being different, there was no way to tell that she was. She could pass. She had passed for ten years. There was nothing in her twenty-eight years that had prepared her for this moment.

What's it going to be?

Who are you?

What are you?

Which road will you take and what difference will it make?

"'Nother drink, buddy?"

"Keep on pouring 'em till ya run dry."

"Drinking like that will kill ya, you know." Not a question, that.

"I should be so lucky."

"Women troubles?"

"Shaddup."


	5. Interludes and Explanations

Interludes/Examinations

Sera felt like she was living in a fog. The only thing that felt real, anymore, was those three days in Xavier's mansion, with Terry and Hank and, in a totally different way, Wolverine. Her life had been perfect, damn it! She had had ever wanted in her old life, in the life before she met Xavier. She had moved from her small town, where her family had lived forever and had come to the city, where she could be herself, with no preconceived notions. She had met Charm and even if she had no desire to marry him, what she had with him was more than what any other Jannhanson she had ever heard of having had. She had a job she loved, the job she had always wanted. She even loved the school she taught at. Okay, so no one knew what she was. It wasn't really like lying; didn't everyone have some part of themselves that they shared only with themselves? She had never felt bad about hiding her gifts from others; they had no place in this life she had carved out for herself.

But after being with Xavier and his students as well as the X-men, she had begun feeling differently. These people put themselves on the line to protect not her, because she didn't need it, but those people who couldn't protect themselves, kids like Terry. For all Xavier's school looked like a posh private school, the kind she had never imagined teaching in, the students were a lot more like her city kids. Runaways and throwaways, a bunch of them, Xavier had told her, kids who had nowhere else to go, who had somehow found themselves there and protected. She thought of Terry's terror at being called a mutant, how the only thing that seemed to make the fear at all better was knowing an adult she trusted was the same way.

Everyday now, Sera sat on the stairs leading up to her building and watched the neighborhood kids play or head off to work if they were old enough. She had taught a bunch of them, and they were always coming up and chatting with her, telling her about their summer, their lives. She loved living around the kids she worked with, loved the feeling of knowing these kids could count on her. Like Terry counted on her, how Sera was maybe the only person she could trust with such a huge, dark secret.

And there she was again, right where she started. She couldn't seem to pull her thoughts out of this spiral. Where was she going to do the most good? All she had ever wanted was to do something good, to help people. She had never thought that she was going to have to sit down and decide which people needed the most help. Never thought she would ever even want a change from the perfect life that she had found. Everything had all seemed so clear cut, sharp-edged.

Charm had come by a couple of times. He knew now better than to ask what she was thinking; the first two answers had let him know she didn't intend to share. Sera didn't know what was going on with him either. Things had gone back to normal after their fight but normal now felt strangely... flat. She wanted to call up Wolverine and cuss him out for screwing things up with Charm but she knew it wasn't really his fault. It was just like with the school. It was seeing things she had never noticed before. Like how much more alive she felt when she wasn't trying to be calm, like how it felt to not have to hide anything. Now it seemed like the more she thought about things, the more she had to hide. She felt like she was suffocating under a mountain of words she had never said but they had never bothered her before.

The days felt too long and too short, all at the same time. She felt like she was on a countdown, four weeks now to make her choice. If the devil had appeared to her, right then, and offered her any wish, in exchange for her soul, she knew exactly what she would pick. She wanted that one choice back, the one decision to go to Xavier's, back. She wanted her old life, her perfect life, back again.

Except it would have been at the expense of Terry's.

Sera seemed to be spending a lot of time screaming, soundlessly, inside her head.

It was Wolverine Terry ran into when she and Jubilee were playing tag in the hallway after class.

"Ooff! Sorry, Mr. Logan!"

He grabbed her arm, mostly to steady her, partially to keep her from running off. He grabbed as gently as he could; the X-Men had noticed real fast you had to be careful touching Terry. She scared so easy. "Easy, don't wanna fall, do ya, kid?"

"No, sorry. We'll slow down."

"Nah, don't do that, just take it outside, huh? Leave an old man in peace."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "You're not so old, Wolvie."

"Feel it, around you kids. Go on, out with you."

The girls were running, giggling, when he suddenly called out, "Hey, Terry-girl, you heard from that teacher of yours lately?"

Terry stopped, turned around. There was a surprised look on her face. "Sure, we just talked last night. She said she was getting ready for school. She's got sixth graders this year." Waving, Terry turned and chased Jubilee down the hall and out the door.

Getting ready for sixth graders. From listening to Jeannie and the others talk, he knew Xavier hadn't heard from Sera since she left. Sure sounded like she was planning to go on with her life like she had never met the X-Men. Well and why not? She had her job, she had that guy, Charm. Even thinking that guy's name made him sneer. Charm. What kind of a man was he for a woman like Sera? Not that he, Wolverine, cared. She was way better off there in her old life. For sure he didn't want her back at the mansion again. He'd be beating his head against the walls all the time, trying not to strangle her. It was better this way.

And if it was better this way, he was as blue as the Beast. In pretty much every way that mattered.

The shrill call of the phone woke Sera from a sound sleep. She was disoriented, like she always was when she had just woken up. Groggily, she grabbed for the phone, catching sight of the clock as she did so. 10:36 was not late enough for her to feel this groggy; she must have been more tired than she thought.

"Yeah?" she mumbled into the phone.

"Jay?" It was Terry, sounding strangely subdued. Sera forced herself into waking up.

"Who else? What's up, kiddo? You don't sound yourself."

"The court-case, y'know, for my folks. It was today." A soft whimper, barely audible, then silence.

"And..." prompted Sera, slowly beginning to pay attention to the conversation.

"The judge said that they had to go to these classes and see a caseworker and stuff before they could have me back." Terry sounded even more down, like it was hard to force the words past her throat.

"I agree," was Sera's prompt reply. "What, you want to go back to them? Aren't you happy at the school? You sounded happy, before."

"It's not that!" Terry's control had broken; now she was crying, yelling into the phone. "They don't want me, they don't want me back at all! They asked the judge how to put me up for adoption and Jay, they told my caseworker all about me, said they weren't going to raise no mutant! And Jay, my caseworker, he said... he said... Jay, he said no one was gonna want me, being a mutant and all. No one was going to want me! Jay, is that true? Is no one going to want me?"

Sera thought of Terry's face, the way it lit up when she found something she loved. She thought of Terry, at the field trip to the zoo last year, how she had loved all the animals but the big cats the most. On the way home, sitting by Sera on the bus, she had whispered her desire to study cats like that, like the lions, only in the wild. Her face had glowed then. She was a beautiful girl, so full of joy, even after all the hell she had been through, that it seemed to shine through her all the time. How could no one want a child like that, who would care that she started a fire or two, in the face of all that joy. No one would want her? Ha!

She wanted Terry. Twenty-eight was old in her family, not to have a child yet, but Sera had never wanted one before. She was suddenly realizing that the reason she had never wanted a kid before was because she wanted this kid, now. Fate knew it, Fate had been planning for it and that was why she had never had her own child. Raphie, her sister, she had a baby at eighteen and Sera had just rolled her eyes, determined to be different. Twelve years later and this talk with Terry was like a revelation; this girl, this was the child she was meant to have.

It was too soon to say anything like that. Who knew what Terry would say, what she would be thinking? Sera's eyes swam with tears. Her child. This was her child, no matter how long it took to prove it.

"Someone will want you," whispered Sera in a voice gone suddenly thick. "I promise, someone will want you."

Somehow, all those decisions suddenly seemed a lot easier to make. On one side, there was Terry. On the other side, there was everything else. She knew which side she wanted to be on.

Sera talked to Terry for only a little while longer. She had a lot to do the next day and she was going to need her sleep.

It was telling Charm that was the hardest. She had known it would be. All those unspoken words- c'mon, girl, face up to it, all those lies- catching up with her. He simply couldn't understand why she would be willing to give up so much for one girl.

"Surely someone will take her into foster care, Sera. There's no need for this."

"You don't understand. There are... there are extenuating circumstances in Terry's life, things that will make it difficult for her to be placed."

"And this makes you the ideal candidate why exactly? And why leave your old school? I thought you loved it there. Why go to that ritzy private school she's at now? You hate stuff like that. I just don't understand, Sera."

Sera could tell that Charm was trying as hard as he could not to lose his tempter. "Well, she couldn't blame him. This was pretty much coming out of the blue for the both of them. It's, just, those kids need me, Charm. They need what I can teach them."

"English?" There was a snort of disbelief. "Sera, you've said it yourself, English teachers are a dime a dozen. If this place was so cool, why can't they find, well, pretty much anyone they want?"

"It's not as easy as all that. They have... special considerations."

Charm had sat down by this point, his restless pacing almost stilled. It was almost like he knew what she was going to say. Well, points for him; she didn't have any idea of what she was going to say. "So what is it, Sera? What are these special considerations, these extenuating circumstances, that mean you have to leave your job, move up north and think about adopting a fourteen year old girl? Must be pretty damn special. Does this have anything to do with that Logan guy who followed you home?"

Sera rubbed her hands together nervously. It was one thing, saying this to Terry, who had needed to hear it, to know she wasn't alone. It was quite another to say it Charm, who didn't need to know, who would be happier not knowing. But after three years, the very least he deserved was the truth. "Charm. I love you. I do. But I'm not what you think I am."

"What is it I think you are?" Charm's voice was quiet. He had obviously caught on to the fact that whatever she had to say, it was important. "What do I think you are?"

Sera looked into his eyes; they were green with brown and gold flecks into them. They were more familiar to her than her own. If she concentrated, she could look past the whites, the irises and the pupils to the inner workings of his eyes, the delicate veins, the optic nerves all so perfectly put together. This was what she was. "Human, Charm. You think I'm human and I'm not."


	6. Without Understanding

Without Understanding

When Wolverine answered the door, it wasn't a surprise to see Sera, lugging a giant suitcase. Xavier, Jeannie and Terry had all told him she was coming. Xavier, in terms of things that ought to be known, Jeannie with a wicked little grin that let him know she hadn't forgotten that foreplay line and Terry in pure excitement. He had to say, that girl was nuts about the woman.

Sera stood in the door, dressed in black cutoffs, a black tank top and those apparently all purpose black combat boots, and glared at him through her tangled mess of hair. "This has nothing to do with you," she said aggressively, pushing her way through the door.

He grinned and stepped aside to give her room. "Course not, darlin'. Strictly an independent choice, I gotcha."

"Where do I put this crap?"

"Prof assigned you a room. C'mon, I'll show you." It was then that Wolverine noticed that in addition to her luggage, Sera had a black leash looped around her wrist and that, trotting behind her, was a tiny little orange and white ball of fluff.

"You didn't have a cat before," he observed.

"I do now. Wolverine, meet Rakehell, Rakehell meet Wolverine."

At the sound of his name, Rakehell arched his back like a Halloween cat and hissed angrily at Wolverine.

"Sweet pet ya got there, darlin'."

"Room. Now. This thing weighs a ton."

"Right this way, your majesty."

"Screw off."

Yep, that went about as well as he'd been thinking. He grabbed the suitcase and led her up to her room, Rakehell the fuzzball hissing with all of his kitten might the whole way. Some person with a sadistic sense of humor had put her room right across from Wolverine's own. Maybe Scott had figured why pay for cable when you have the Sera and Wolverine show live everyday, free of charge? Sera seemed kind of subdued or at least subdued for her. She hasn't bouncing off the walls, or driving him batty or trying on his emotions for size or any of the other things she did to drive him nuts. He'd ask, but he really didn't want to know. His money was on the boyfriend not being pleased with her switching jobs so abruptly and it was a real fact that he didn't want to hear one more thing about good old Charm.

"Here ya go, darlin'. You need me, you just call. That's my room right across the way."

Sera's only response was obscene. Rakehell stalked over and, trying to be subtle, sank his teeth into Wolverine's leg.

Yep, it was her cat, all right.

He didn't know what he'd been thinking, worrying bout having her at the mansion. Man, he hardly ever even saw her. She spent all her time teaching, or hanging out with Hank in the lab or spending quality time with Terry, walking the grounds. The only time he ever saw her, she was teaching classes to the whole adult staff on teacher stuff. He could just tell Chuck was tickled pink, hiring a real live teacher for the school.

Chuck's dream didn't all come true, though. Sera made it perfectly clear, the very first day, that she was no X-Man. She wanted to teach and she'd be more than happy to let Hank and Chuck figure out how she was put together and even more thrilled to help put any injured X-Men back together after a fight, but she wasn't going to fight. Wolverine had never figured that he could be impressed by someone who didn't fight, but she impressed him. She put her foot down and it stayed down. Her sheer force of will was almost more intimidating when it became clear she didn't think she needed to back it up physically. People just better do what she said or else. The or else was unspoken and unspecified. He bet no one ever had the guts to try and find out what happened if she got crossed.

Nope, he didn't know why he'd been worried he'd be seeing her all the time. And he sure wasn't feeling anything, one way or another, bout not seeing her like he thought he would. Cause there was no reason to care.

He needed another beer. Badly.

Sera was finding the fitting in easy. There were some problems that were same old same old, no matter what the school, like she figured she and Scott, or Cyclops as he was sometimes called, were never going to best buddies. Did the man have no sense of humor? And a lot of the kids were in bad shape- damaged by life- and they could be a bit of a challenge to teach. And there were new problems, like she had never taught in a residential school, no matter how unorthodox, before and it was sort of weird, knowing the kids were around all the time, in the same building, even if they did live on a different floor. It was still weird. But there was good stuff, too, like teaching Terry again and getting to know a whole new group of kids. Plus, it seemed like she and Jean might really become friends and Hank was just as wonderful as she remembered. Ororo, or Storm like the others called her, seemed nice enough but quiet and difficult to get to know. It didn't seem like anything personal. And Xavier, well, she guessed he was a bit disappointed by her not joining the X-Men. That, he was going to have to live with.

Nope, she wasn't going to regret this. Three English classes a day and two on living with mutations, soon as she got settled in some. That would be the hardest, trying to teach what had always come as second nature. She hadn't been totally stupid, though. If this didn't work out, she had only taken a leave of absence from her old job, not resigned. On the harder days, that thought hovered in the back of her skull, tempting her. But she knew in her heart, she had made this choice for keeps, no matter how hard.

Because it wasn't the job, not really. It was everything that happened to put her in this place at this time. It was Terry getting hurt so badly she still winced when people touched her unexpectedly- Sera thought it said something, that Terry's closest friend at the school was Rogue, who couldn't touch people with her bare skin. It was telling the truth to Charm and seeing the look of horror on his face. Oh, he said he could get used to it, but she didn't think there was anything to get used to. Nothing was different except for what he knew. Which was apparently, too much for him. He called, but not very often. It was seeing Wolverine, not everyday, but often enough and trying to figure out what the deal was there.

She needed a beer. And if she remembered right, Wolverine's was not only damn good, he still kept it in the fridge, where any old person could find it. Grinning wickedly, she headed down to the kitchen.

The kitchen was empty when she wandered in, which was hardly a shocker, given the late hour. Opening the fridge, she grabbed one of the beers out- they were just sitting there, free for the taking- and wandered over to the drawer were the bottle opener was kept. Popping the top off, she leaned against the cool, white kitchen wall, took a deep shallow and closed her eyes, trying to relax.

Deep breath in, hold, deep breath out, take a drink. She could handle living here despite all the changes. She could do it. Deep breath in, hold, deep breath out, take a drink. Really, it was just another job, nothing to stress about. Deep breath in, hold, deep breath out, drink. Ahhhh... slowly beginning to relax.

A shiver of desire crawled through her body, all the stronger for being unexpected. There was surprise there, too and anger, just a bit. Her eyes popped open to see Wolverine in the door, watching her. He was dressed in what seemed to be his typical clothes of jeans and a tank top. With her eyes open, the desire wasn't just his. She hadn't seen him alone since she moved in. He looked... good. Very good.

"You drinking another of my beers, darlin'?" he rumbled, staring at her.

Holding his eyes and feeling the emotions kick up another notch, she took a long drink and finally said, "Yep. Sure am." She could feel herself grinning.

He was across the kitchen faster than she expected and all of a sudden she was pinned against the wall, caught in a cage of his powerful arms. He was leaning over her, an arm on either side her, hands braced on the wall. Up close, the emotions were overwhelming, hers and his tangled together, so entwined that she couldn't tell where his ended and hers began.

"Don't ya think ya ought to pay for those beers you pilfer?" he growled; his voice was low and rumbly but she wasn't afraid because his anger had vanished, had drowned in the wave of something more powerful.

"Seem to be a little low on cash right now," she retorted, looking not into his eyes but at the body that was so close to hers. He was a powerful man, almost devastatingly so, and it was a heady feeling, being this close to him.

"Ain't what I had in mind," was his response.

"Oh, yeah?" Sera taunted and raised her eyes to his, knowing it wasn't a brilliant plan but unable to stop herself.

"Yeah." But his voice was slower now, his eyes also locked on hers and the two of them were caught, just like they always were.

His feelings washed over her: desire and possession and restraint and frustration and above all confusion. She was sure that hers were in there as well it was only that they were so similar. Neither moved, not even to blink. She could almost see his emotions, almost hear them.

/_how is this happening why do I feel this way what is going on I want you want to belong to you belong to me want you need you why why why is this happening what is going on want you how does this happen why does this happen what are these feelings?/  
_  
They weren't touching. They didn't need to; all they needed was this. It was enough. It was almost too much. It was fire, ice; it was consuming them. There was no telling how much time passed, it was forever, it was half a second; it was turning time inside out.

"Am I interrupting something?" asked a loud voice. Wolverine spun around and Sera, free from his eyes, blinked, dazedly, at Jean, who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a bemused look on her face.

"Not a blazing thing," snarled Wolverine, and grabbing a beer from the fridge, he sauntered from the kitchen like he didn't have a care in the world. It looked convincing. If Sera hadn't still been able to feel everything he was feeling, she would have been convinced. He was not calm, he was not collected; even out of the room, the things he was feeling almost made her weak in the knees.

"Sera?" asked Jean, still staring. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine," answered Sera weakly, sleepwalking to the nearest chair.

Jean grabbed the one next to her, put a friendly arm around her shoulder. "What's going on with you and Logan?"

Sera blew the hair out of her face with an exasperated huff; the spiky strands puffed off her forehead for a second and then fell right back where they wanted to be. "Nothing. Nothing's going on."

"Didn't look like nothing to me."

"It's nothing. What can it possibly be but nothing?"

A long pause then as Sera drank Wolverine's beer and Jean stared into space, looking thoughtful. "What do you want it to be?"

Sera snorted. "That's easy. I want it gone."

"You've haven't said too much about your life before the school. Is there someone else?"

"Jeannie, are you seriously advocating **Wolverine** as someone to have a relationship with? What drugs are you on? I barely know him and I can tell that's a seriously bad idea."

"Just answer the question, Sera. Is there someone else?"

"Yes. No. How should I know?" Jeannie stared, her gaze unrelenting. She wanted to know? Fine, Sera would expand. Anything was better than talking about that scene with Wolverine. "There was someone. Maybe there still is someone. I don't know. I told him I was a mutant. It kind of ruined the mood between us. He swears he just needs time to get used to things. Maybe it's a dodge, maybe it's for real, I just don't know." Sera laughed then, hard and bitter. "It's why I got good old Rakehell. Lose a man, gain a cat."

Jeannie laughed at that. The smile stayed on her face a moment, half wistful, half caring. "He's a good man, Sera, in his own way."

Sera thinned her shields down, the better to understand what Jeannie was trying to say. Wistful was the right word, yes indeed. Wistful and something else. In a tone that was close to amazement, she whispered,  
"**You** want him?"

Jeannie shook her head, her red hair catching the light. Sera couldn't help but notice that Jeannie was so much more beautiful than she was. "I'm taken." It was Sera's turn to stare, disbelieving. It was both the only possible answer and not nearly enough of one to make sense. "Not that I didn't think about it," Jean added. "But I'm taken. And I'm starting to think he is, too."

At that, Sera stood up and pushed her chair in. "This has disaster written all over it. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a glutton for punishment." Walking towards the door with long steps, her back to Jean, she paused abruptly. "Jeannie? The hell of it is, I know he's a good man. I just don't know if he's a good man for me."

And then she was gone.

When Wolverine got home from the bar that night, he wasn't drunk but that was only because his healing ability processed the alcohol so fast that it was almost impossible to get drunk. He had wanted to get drunk. He had tried to get drunk. But here it was, last call had been served and he was still sober. Maybe a little buzzed but not enough to make a difference. He'd been hoping for too drunk to know what he was doing, too drunk to even think about Sera and the hell that was living in the same place as her.

He was heading for the stairs when the sense of another presence stopped him. "Jeannie. What'd ya do, wait up for me? I'm touched."

Jeannie came out of the shadows; she was dressed in a robe and slippers to ward off the early September chill. "You okay, Logan?"

"Right as rain, darlin'. What could be wrong?"

"Sera."

"I don't wanna talk about her. 'Specially not with you."

"How much longer are you two going play this out?"

"Nothing to play out, Red. It ain't what it looks like." He headed for the stairs and could hear Jeannie starting up behind him. "Drop it, Jeannie. Even if it was what it looks like, ain't nobody's business but ours."

"What do you think you can hide from her? You know she's an empath, Logan."

He was at his door by then, the door that was across from Sera's. Like that wasn't torture. Had to be Cyke's doing; they had never gotten along. Whole damn hallway smelled like cinnamon now, not strong enough for anyone else to notice but with his senses, it was impossible to forget she was nearby. "There's a lot I know, Red, that you don't. Leave it be." And he slammed the door behind him, not caring that everybody else had to be asleep that late at night. I know a lot, he added to himself, and not one damn bit of it does me any good.

He went drinking the next night as well and couldn't even bring himself to be surprised when Jeannie was waiting up for him again. "This is getting to be a habit, darlin'. Scott's gonna think you're leaving him for me, you keep this. Man might get ideas."

"Scott's not blind," retorted Jeannie briskly. "It's pretty obvious where your attention is these days. Why don't you just sweep her off her feet or whatever the hell you do when a woman you want is actually available? This is just stupid."

"Available ain't the word for Sera, Jeannie. I met the guy. No contest there. You should see him."

"I think you should talk to her again. Things might not be what you think."

"Butt out, Jeannie. Whatever the hell it is, things like this, they don't last. It'll burn itself out."

Jean grabbed his arm. "I'm your friend, Logan. Maybe the best one you've got here, and I'm telling you that you're being a fool."

"That you're professional opinion, doctor? Going charge me for your words of wisdom?"

She let go. "Fine, drive yourself crazy. Pretend you're not interested in Sera and that she's not interested in you. Do whatever you want!" she stormed off to the room she shared with Scott, the robe swirling behind her as she went.

He wished like hell he could still want her. It'd been doomed, but it'd made sense. Sera didn't make sense at all and it was driven' him crazy.

When she showed up in the lab the next weekend, Hank looked thrilled. "Sera!" he called from where he sat in front of the computer, "Greetings and salutations!"

She jumped in a wheeled chair and rolled herself across the floor to him. "See, now, you're just getting lazy. You got that from _Heathers._" Once she got close enough, she hugged his neck and peeked at the computer. "Gah! That looks evil."

"To your first point, I must confess to a secret love of that movie. To the second, no, this is merely only routine test. Perhaps you simply find it forbidding because your own expertise lies in literature and not in the hard sciences."

"Well, I did suck at them," she acknowledged. Hank laughed. "Actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about."

He raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Hard sciences? Why ever for?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. It's just, a school this small, a student population like this one, I thought I ought to know. I'll trade you something."

The other eyebrow went up. "And what were you thinking of offering in trade, my dear?"

She took a deep breath. Here went nothing. She had to get Wolverine out of her mind. Worse yet, she kept thinking of Charm as a way to get rid of Wolverine-themed thoughts and she refused to be the one who broke first. He needed time, fine, let him have all the time he wanted. "Dinner. With me. As a trade."

Hank went still, only his eyes moving. They slid away from her, quickly. His face was shuttered now, none of his emotions showing. She thought about reaching for them but since she had so obviously stepped wrong already, it seemed a worse sin to then go invade his privacy.

"I say something wrong, Hank?"

A bitter smile touched his face and vanished almost as quickly. He still refused to look at her. When he spoke, his voice was gentle but firm. "Serendipity. I value you as a friend but I beg of you not to do this."

"Do what? Ask you out?" She tried to say it with a laugh.

"If you truly meant it, if you were truly interested, I would be truly flattered. And extremely agreeable. But Sera, I have eyes. I have seen Logan and you together, I've seen how you are with each other. I have no wish to put myself between you."

"There's nothing to be between of!" Why did people keep insisting there was? Maybe there was attraction, sure, but it wasn't anything they were acting on. Much.

A strange look passed across his face, gone too fast to read. "Sera, I will be more than happy to teach you science, teach you anything you want. But I will not be your consolation prize for Logan and its unfair of you to ask. And unkind."

A blush spread across Sera's face. There was a tone of regret in the Beast's voice that she had never expected. It had never occurred to her there would be some real interest there, had never occurred to her that she was being cruel. Obviously, this mess with Wolverine was making her stupid. "Hank, I'm sorry. I apologize. Please forgive me?" He nodded his acceptance. He didn't look surprised, only resigned. "I'd rather it was you!" Sera added suddenly, almost desperately. "Why couldn't it be you? You're my friend; we make sense. If I hadn't met Wolverine," and her voice was resentful now, "it would have been you. I wish it were you!" She lowered her shields a bit and projected, just the faintest bit, so he would know she wasn't lying to him.

She had never tried sharing her feelings with him before and felt absurdly pleased when he put a large hand over his heart. "Thank you, my dear lady. I am indeed touched." Another pause. "May I inquire about Logan?"

Sera rolled her eyes and slumped back in the chair. "What's to tell? You've seen us together. That about sums it up."

When Hank spoke, his voice was gentle. "From what I have observed, you two are volatile together but not... disinterested. I am uncertain as to how long either of you can pretend that nothing's going on."

She shook her head once, sharply. "Nothing is going on! I didn't come here for him! I came here for Terry. And the other kids. Not him."

"The mansion's not that large, Sera. You can't avoid him forever."

"I can try," she shot back. "Okay, sorry, that was immature. I just wish... look, this, this thing, between him and I, I don't know what it is and I don't want it at all."

"Are you sure you're telling yourself the truth here?"

She was silent then, rolling his words around in her mind. What was the truth here? She missed her old life, her simple life. "I came here for Terry. That is true. Wolverine... I don't know what that is. I don't know how to deal with it. To deal with anything like it."

His brow wrinkled slightly as he listened to her words. After a second, Hank thoughtfully asked, "Is there something more, here, Sera? Something I'm not understanding?"

"Yeah. Yeah, there is. There' another man, a man I thought was the kind I always wanted to be with. He's everything Wolverine's not but when he found out I was a mutant... well... I haven't heard much from him since. And Wolverine, well, he's everything Charm's not. If that makes any sense."

"Maybe if you elaborate...?" Hank prompted, still watching her.

"I had what I thought I always wanted, with Charm. He was a storybook Prince Charming. Perfect. And he was so..." she paused here, looked down at her lap so she wouldn't have to met Hank's eyes. "This is a terrible reason to be with someone; I'm just starting to realize that. But he was so normal. In a way I never could be. It wasn't even so much that he was a human and I'm a mutant as the smaller things. His family, his childhood, I wanted things like that for me. He had a father. I never did. For all I know, when the Jannhanson woman want babies, they just make them themselves. Sounds strange I know, but I've always wondered. No one in five generations of my family have married and I don't remember any men, not even when Raphie, my older sister, got pregnant and I was sixteen. I would have noticed, I would have remembered. So a lot of being with Charm, as awful as it sounds, was sheer envy. I mean I care about him, sometimes I even think I love him, even though I have no idea how love like that works, having never seen it."

"And Wolverine?" asked the Beast gently, tipping her face up to met his eyes with one massive hand. "What do you feel for him?"

"I honestly don't know what I feel. I just know I feel too much when I'm with him. Things with Charm are calm. Restful. Like being with you. Things with Wolverine, its too much, its like being burned alive from the inside out. When I'm with him, I can barely think straight. It scary, what we're like when we're together. Hank," Sera added in desperation, "are you sure you won't go out with me? You, I understand. What I feel for you, that I understand."

When Hank spoke again, his voice sounded a little strained. "Sera, please. I'm not so much a gentleman that I can keep saying no when I want to say yes. Now, if you could look me in the eyes and tell me you want me more than Logan, I would say yes in a heartbeat. But you can't say that, can you?"

Sera looked down, up, anywhere but at Hank. She shook her head, miserable, embarrassed, "I don't think," she whispered finally, "that I want anything else in the world as much as I want him." Maybe Terry as her daughter, but that was her secret.

"Then you need to talk to him," suggested Hank, taking his hand away from her face; her skin was cold, once his warmth was gone. "And I think I need to be alone and work now."

Sera nodded, wiping at her eyes quickly. She got up to go, and then stopped and threw her arms around his neck. "We're still friends, aren't we, Hank? I haven't screwed this up?"

He hugged back, his arms powerful but careful, his fur soft against her skin. "It is my fondest hope that you and I will always be friends, Serendipity. But now I think you need to go and think of what you want to say to Logan."


	7. The Center Does Not Hold

The Center Does Not Hold

  
Not knowing what else to do, Sera went shopping at the local liquor store. So far as she could tell, she and Wolverine seemed to have that much at least in common. A few casual questions asked among that staff confirmed that when Wolverine wasn't drinking beer, he was a whiskey man. Whiskey was fine, she could do whiskey. She had grabbed a couple of bottles from the store and then, on a whim, some cheap souvenir shot glasses. This way she was prepared. Now the only trick would be finding Wolverine.   
  
She aimed logical first; she knocked on the door opposite hers, the door that had been tempting her for days. The door that she avoided like the plaque. To her amazement, he actually answered.  
  
It was all she could do not to stare. He wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes, just old, faded blue jeans. His body was even better than she had guessed. He wasn't smiling at the sight of her, but she could live with that. If she got to look at him dressed like that, she could live with pretty much anything.  
  
What'd ya want, darlin'? he growled. He was chomping on a cigar and she was surprised to find she didn't even care.  
  
She grinned bravely, looking past him into his room, which seemed mostly bare of personal items, and held up one of the bottles, with the shot glasses stacked on its cap. Peace offering? she suggested. I thought maybe we could get to know each other better. Not bad, mostly the truth.  
  
He smiled then, a predatory grin and she could feel his interest flair. There was no room for lies between them. They could pretend all they wanted, use what ever words they wanted, in whatever tones, but their other senses always knew the truth. He knew she was interested, she knew he was. She had no idea where this was going, but Hank was right. There was no pretending that it didn't exist. Maybe if she just got it out of her system...   
  
Was that what you wanted? His sardonic words interrupted her train of thought. She could see his eyes, could see them as they traveled down and up her body. His interest in her flickered across her awareness like a wave of fire. Nice to know he wasn't indifferent.  
  
You gonna to let me in? Her voice was belligerent, to hide her nervousness. This was not Charm, or any of her kind and quiet boyfriends from college, and she was feeling over her head.  
  
He stood aside and she walked into the room. What'cha have in mind, then, darlin'? Twenty questions?  
  
Drinking contest, was her retort as she tossed the bottle to him, counting on his reflexes to catch it. He laughed and put the bottle down on a table. There was almost nowhere to sit in the room. Two hard looking chairs and the bed. She wasn't thinking about the bed. She took a chair, shoving what had to be today's shirt out of the way.  
  
Darlin', ain't no contest. Takes a lot to drink me under. Doubt you're the one to do it. He got comfortable on the bed-- great, wonderful, the bed-- and put the shot glasses down on the nightstand so he could open the bottle.  
  
Wanna bet? she shot back. You're not the only one with a healing ability, _darlin'._ She grabbed the bottle and poured them both generous shots. Ready, set, go! she chanted and tossed back her drink as fast as she could. it was smooth and gentle for the first couple of seconds and then it burned like nobody's business. Gotta be a metaphor here, she muttered to herself absently, most of her attention caught be the sight of the muscles in Wolverine's body moving as he swallowed his drink. If she couldn't look into his eyes, and past experience told her the evening would end real quick if either of them tried that, she'd watch the rest of him. Luckily, there was a lot of Wolverine left to watch.  
  
She started pouring another drink almost as soon as he finished his first.  
  
She had to get this out of her system.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Wolverine was bemused by her sudden appearance at his door but not about to turn her down. He had tried to avoid her but Jeannie was right, they couldn't ignore this forever. This close to her, he didn't think there was any way to pretend anything. And she had brought some damn fine whiskey.  
  
Grinning, he downed the first shot she poured and grinned as her eyes widened as the liquor hit her. No contest here, he thought smugly to himself.  
  
  
Two hours later, at the end of the bottles and well into his beer, which they had staged a raid on the kitchen to get-- luckily, no students anywhere in sight-- he was forced to change his earlier assumption. The woman could drink, almost as much as he could. She was moving a little slower now, and her voice slurred a bit when she spoke, but on the whole, she was a trooper.  
  
he said, toasting her with his bottle. I am impressed. Ain't nobody been able to stay off the floor this long with me. Anybody else be under the table by now.  
  
she said, On the floor doesn't sound so bad.   
  
He went still; she was watching him, her cinnamon colored eyes fixed on his face. Her voice, her suggestion, conjured up about a million different graphic pictures in his head. Great; just what he needed, some reminding about what he wanted to do to her, with her. Got a better idea, Sera. We're about out of anything to do with alcohol here. How you feel bout taking a ride with me?  
  
She laughed then, completely disbelieving. Hell, no! We've been drinking for, she tipped her chair back precariously to look for a clock. Not finding one, she let her chair slam back where it belonged, nearly tossing herself onto the bed. For awhile now. No way am I letting you drive me around on the monster bike of yours.  
  
What, you conceding defeat, pretty girl? You don't think you can out drink me after all?  
  
I can drink you under the table, little man, but ain't going to no bar to do it.  
  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, big words. Nope, that was you, throwing in the towel. He laughed, throwing himself back on the bed so he was stretched out. Yer all bark an' no bite, darlin'.   
  
Her eyes narrowed and her smile turned decidedly evil. Picking up her beer bottle, she pretended to be examining it closely. Oh, yeah? Seems to me you ought to know better than to say I don't bite.  
  
Wolverine had about a second to realize his mistake-- oh, yeah, she does bite!-- before she jumped on the bed, and, while pouring her beer over his head, bit his ear.  
  
You nuts? was about all he managed to spit out with the beer that had spilled into his face. The last time she bit him, he'd about wanted to take her head off. This time...well, he wanted something a little different. Her body was pressed against his and with whatever weird connection there was between them, there was no missing what she was thinking, feeling. And there was no thinking anything different for him. The feel of her was enough to drive him crazy, he'd been wanting it so long.  
  
He felt her teeth leave his ear, to be replaced by warm breath. Not nuts, she corrected softly, leaning into him. Just enough booze in me to do something stupid. One of her hands, cold from the beer bottle, was touching his chest. The other was pushing his now wet hair out of his face. Her touch was like nothing else he had ever experienced. He could feel how it was for him and he could feel how it was for her, all tangled up; lost in the wave of desire, he groaned and held onto his control for all he was worth.  
  
He couldn't think with her this close. At least, not about anything that didn't have to do with taking her up on her suggestion, as fast as possible. She was kissing him, now, her cool mouth... oh, god.. on his ear, his throat. He could feel the animal in him, fighting to get loose, to show her what she was playing with. But, no matter what else, he was an honorable man, so despite the fact that, right now, he hardly even felt human, he managed to spit out, What about yer boyfriend?  
  
Her hand had moved up to his face; she was tilting his face so she could meet his eyes. What boyfriend? she replied and then all he could see were her eyes, darker now with passion and then he was lost, she was lost, like they always were. Swallowed alive by feelings that were almost too strong, they couldn't even think of fighting them.  
  
Beer cold kisses. Sera's sharp little teeth, gentler now, but still biting. Wolverine, shaking from trying not to lose control, hands hard on her body. Sera's long nails scratching down his back. No need to say anything, the other's feelings clear: _want, need, touch, take, mine, now!_  
  
His last coherent thought was that it was a good thing they were both healers; this was like to kill them both. No mere human could survive this. And then there was no more room for thoughts, there was just them. He was kissing her and her hands were on him and there was nothing else in the world but two of them.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sera woke to the heat of Wolverine's body next to hers. She stretched against him, reveling in the feeling of being this near. The emotions still burned and sizzled between them, but fainter now, more in the background. So, not gone, but at least she didn't want to wrestle him to the floor. Right away.  
  
rumbled his voice, so low she could feel his chest vibrate with the words, when I asked if ya wanted to take a ride, this wasn't 'zactly what I had in mind, little miss witch hazel.  
  
Her laughter rang out. It wasn't? Well, damn, maybe its not too late, and she made to get out of bed only to be stopped by his hard arm wrapping around her middle.  
  
You ain't going nowhere but closer to me, he muttered, dragging her against him.  
  
Oh, yeah, think you're such a tough guy? I've got your number. Her hands trailed down his bare chest, followed by her lips. Wolverine growled; desire this time, but tempered with something else. Too hard to feel, buried under the passion that was still almost too strong. With effort, Wolverine pushed her away from him, moved his body so that they were no longer touching. With distance, their feelings were almost manageable.  
  
This is too strong to last, he finally said, his voice harsh.  
  
She took a deep breath. Really, it was no different from what she was thinking. Yeah, I know.  
  
And I ain't what you would call a relationship kinda a guy.   
  
She rolled up, looked down at his face. He looked distant and unsmiling. What, you chicken now? Tough guy like you? She wrapped her hand around one of his broad upper arms; her hand was too small to reach around, but all she had really wanted was the skin contact and the sizzle of desire that came with it. This scare you? He glared at her then, but stayed silent. she said with some exasperation. I just got out of a three year long relationship. You think I'm begging to get right into another one? Why do we have to give this a name, why does it have to be a relationship? C'mon, you think you're man enough to hang in here and just take it how it goes? She was a little afraid that she had taken it too far, that she had pushed him away with her words, her touch. He stayed very quiet for a few minutes, and she could feel him sink into himself, thoughtful and just a little overwhelmed.   
  
Finally he said, gruffly, Maybe ya better start calling me Logan from now on, darlin'. Seeing as how we're going be so close an' all.  
  
Sera laughed then, and nodded, knowing he could feel the movement against his chest. That'll do just fine, Logan.  
  
But his words stayed with her; this was too strong to last. And it was gonna be one hell of a mess when it broke apart.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Wolverine was out working on his bike-- well, okay, it used to be Cyke's, but now it was his-- when Jeannie found him.   
  
Hey, Red, he drawled, flat on his back, to better get at the screw he was working on. What'cha want this time?  
  
Jeannie leaned against the wall and stared down at him. She was trying hard not to smile but Wolverine could see the corners of her mouth fighting to curl up. Might have heard a rumor about you this morning, she suggested.  
  
Oh, yeah?  
  
Yeah. Something about you and Sera... a lot of whiskey... stop me if this sounds familiar.  
  
Might be something to those rumors at that, darlin', he conceded after a couple of seconds of watching Jeannie try not to look like she was begging for gossip.  
  
prompted Jeannie.  
  
And nothing, Red. I'm a gentleman-- Jeannie snorted in a good natured way, and we gentlemanly types don't go kissing and telling.  
  
There was kissing?  
  
Get out of here, woman!  
  
Jeannie laughed and scurried out of the garage before she pushed his legendary temper too far. She couldn't resist sending a last thought to Wolverine, though, one she was out of sight.  
  
_That's all right , Logan. I'll go and ask Sera. Can't wait to find out if that time we found you two on the kitchen floor really was foreplay.  
  
_There was a loud bang as the a wrench hit the wall by the door. The sound mixed with that of Jeannie's laughter as it trailed behind her.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sera's life began to take on a new routine then. There was teaching during the day, grading on Sundays and for the nights, there was Wolverine. Logan. Not every night, to be sure, but enough. They never did call themselves a couple, they were only Sera and Wolverine. And if some people teased, it was never too much. Logan had never struck anyone but Sera as a safe guy to play with and Sera was tough enough in her own way. But people grinned and Jeannie had taken Sera aside and begged for gossip. Things seemed pretty peaceful. And then there was Terry...  
  
  
I'm glad you suggested this, Terry, Sera said softly, watching the girl as she kicked up early fall leaves as they walked through the small woods behind the mansion. It's a beautiful day.  
  
Terry agreed. Made me think of that Frost poem you had us read last year. You know, nothing gold can stay.' Like the leaves. You gotta catch them fast.  
  
True. Very true.  
  
There was silence then, for awhile; no sound except for the crunching of leaves and the distant sound of birdsong.  
  
You wanna talk about anything? Sera asked finally. She could tell Terry had a reason for asking her out here, but the girl had remained quiet.  
  
Saw my caseworker today. Terry said finally.  
  
  
  
No one wants me yet. No one will take the placement. And I know the Professor will just let me live here, but... its not like having a real home. Y'know, a real family. Terry was looking down as she spoke, embarrassed or miserable, Sera couldn't quite tell.  
  
Sera took a deep breath. Talk about your perfect opportunities... Funny you mention that, kiddo, she said idly. There was something I wanted to talk to you about.  
  
Terry's eyes were still on the ground.  
  
Okay, deep breath now, you can do it. Terry, I was wondering. I mean, if you want, if you're interested... look, I was wondering... if maybe you would like to be my kid.  
  
Sera thinned her shields a touch, to try and figure out Terry's response to this.  
So far, just stunned. But was that a touch of joy sneaking in?  
  
You mean your foster? Terry asked, hopefully.  
  
Well, I mean, yeah, if you want, but I was kinda thinking, my real kid. Yknow, like a formal adoption. If you're interested.  
  
Terry had stopped moving and was now just staring at Sera. Sera could feel Terry's joy, could see it glowing out of her eyes.  
  
You wanna be my mom? she breathed.  
  
Yeah, I do. If you wanna be my kid.  
  
Terry's arms wrapped around Sera's wait faster than the older woman could see. Yeah, oh yeah, I wanna be your kid. Are you serious? Is this for real?  
  
Nothing realler , babes, murmured Sera, hugging back. If you want, I can start the paperwork on Monday.  
  
If I want!?! If I want!?! I want, I want!  
  
Me, too.  
  
You know what I'm gonna call you? I mean, when we're not in class?  
  
Sera was curious; it almost sounded like Terry had been thinking about this for awhile.  
  
Mama Jay; y'know, a play on the book you told us about, _Mama Day._  
  
Sounds perfect, hon.  
  
Long silence then as the two began walking again. Jay? I mean, Mama Jay? You love me?  
  
Yeah, Terry, I do.  
  
I love you, too. A long pause then, before Terry spoke again. This mean Mr. Logan is like my dad?  
  
  
  
Just playing with you there, Mama Jay.  
  
Great, just my luck, I get you during the bratty years.  
  
You really want me?  
  
Yeah, kid. I really want you.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yer doing it, huh? asked Logan as Sera curled her small, cool body next to his warm one a few nights later.  
  
Yeah, got round one of the paper work in today. And went looking in town, for a place that's not here. Y'know, in case they wanna see a proper home.  
  
He growled softly into her ear. Yer own place? Now that has some possibilities, Witch Hazel.  
  
She swatted playfully at him. Yeah, nothing screams romantic interlude like a fourteen year old daughter.  
  
Damn, almost fergot bout her.  
  
Better not, cause this is a happening thing. She's gonna be mine.  
  
He kissed her then, slow and gentle. If it's what ya both want, darlin', I'm happy fer ya.  
  
Good. Cause it is.  
  
  
She didn't know what time it was when she woke up; Logan seemed to have an aversion to clocks. Although there was a slight dent in the far wall from the bed, that gave her a clue where the last alarm clock might have gone. But the door to his room was open now and Scott was standing in the light, staring in. Sera felt Logan come instantly awake.  
  
Wolverine. There's a situation.  
  
He rolled from the bed and began began grabbing nearby clothes. Not his X-Men uniform, a black leather one piece suit that Sera had only seen a couple of times, but regular stuff. The uniform was kept in the elaborate and highly technological basement of the mansion. Where students were never allowed and she really preferred to stay away from.  
  
What's up? asked Logan, pulling on a shirt.  
  
Briefing room, fifteen minutes. a pause and then. Sorry to wake you, Sera. Didn't know if you'd be in here.  
  
S'cool. You guys need me for anything?  
  
Another pause. Clean up, maybe. We need Hank on this one. You mind bunking down in the lab tonight?  
  
Nah, I'll steal Hank's cot that he keeps down there. Comfy enough.  
  
Scott nodded, still silhouetted in the doorway.  
  
Uh, Scott? There's no way in hell I'm getting out of this bed with you standing there.  
  
She couldn't see, but she knew him well enough by now to bet he was blushing. What did Jean see in the man? Then again, people no doubt would say the same about her and her man who sported nine inch adamantium claws that popped out of his skin with a thought. Uh, whoops! muttered Scott, stepping back and letting the door swing shut.  
  
Yer a cruel woman, Sera. Ya know what he's thinking. Logan grabbed her and pulled her in for a kiss.   
  
She kissed him back fast then pushed him away. I know you don't need to be told, but keep yourself safe tonight, huh?  
  
Don't worry yerself. Ain't been taken down yet. Another kiss and then he was gone.   
  
Sera turned on the light and dragged daytime's clothes on. Quick trip across the hall to get something to sleep in, and then down to the lab.  
  
She yawned. It was gonna be a long night.  
  
  
Hank's lab did have a clock. A digital alarm clock with numbers that glowed red in the dark. That was how Sera could tell that it was 4:13 A.M. when the X-Men came back. The reason she knew they were back in the first place was that Scott, Storm and Logan had run into the lab, yelling for her and pushing the stretchers that were kept in the hanger where the professor parked that technological wonder of a jet plane that the X-Men used to get to missions.  
  
The team looked a mess; their suits were torn and they had cuts and bruises galore. Scott was leaking blood in about a million places and limping badly. Logan looked like he'd been tossed out of a window into a swimming pool full of broken glass. Five or six times. An hour. But there was no blood; handy thing to have, that healing ability. Storm looked pretty okay, just some bruises, but her eyes were wide and panicked, never a good sign. Almost shocky. Sera would've worried if it weren't for the stretchers.   
  
It was Hank and Jeannie. Good plan on somebody's part, taking at the only two real doctors. Logan had a hold of Hank's stretcher; the doctor was out cold, coated in blood, so thick, it was matting his fur. She had never seen that huge body stilled and it was a terrifying sight. In Scott's stretcher was Jeannie, death pale, with soaked bandages wrapped around her stomach. Lots of bleeding, Sera's mind cataloged quickly, maybe more than the body could take. Shit, shit, shit! She wasn't even a hundred percent sure they had enough stocked blood to make up what Jeannie looked to have lost. Besides, that wasn't exactly her strong point, IVs and transfusions; not really a mental skill. Sera surprised herself the by wishing for Raphie; Raphie was a nurse, she would know how to do that stuff.  
  
Well, that made the choice of who to fix first an easy one. Hank would know about transfusions, and she could assist. She ran to Hank's stretcher, shoving Logan out of the way.  
  
Move it, I need room!  
  
Rage. Overwhelming. All consuming. Touching Logan, even for that brief second, Sera finally understood what the word feral meant. Logan was barely human now, barely holding on to his control.   
  
What about Jeannie? he growled, fiercely.  
  
I'm gonna need Hank's help for that, now move!  
  
Hard hands grabbed her arms and lifted her without effort. Fix. Her.  
  
Scott and Storm were pulling at Wolverine's arms. Put her down, Logan, we need her!  
  
She fell, hitting the ground hard as Scott and Storm eventually forced him to give up his grip; she could feel something go painfully wrong in her left ankle. She tried to reach for him but he pushed her away, roughly. She could feel that his touch called bruises to her skin but she knew she couldn't spend the energy to send them away. He didn't know his won strength when he was like this. Don't touch me, he snarled viciously. Just. Don't. Touch. Me.   
  
Angry now and scared for Hank and Jeannie and the time that was being wasted, Sera hollered, Scott! Storm! Get him the hell out of here!  
  
It was a fight, dragging an unwilling Wolverine-- there was no Logan in there now-- away from the lab but Sera couldn't let that distract her. Climbing to her feet, she clamored up onto Hank's stretcher-- she'd need a place to sit-- and put her hands on him.  
  
Deep. She went so deep, so fast. See, here the slashes in veins and vessels, through muscle, through bone. Here was how to fix, this bit to that bit. Sera almost felt like she was glowing, so much power was running through her body. Under her care, through her energy, Hank's body was knitting itself back together. Deeper, there, there the mutation, beyond her to fix; agility, grace, strength. She knew know why he was called the Beast. There, the damage that was an experiment gone wrong, leaving him with the blue fur. Not a mutation, but the damage too deep, too old, too much a part of Hank now to fix. And here, he was back together in body, there was only the head wound to deal with now. So here the skull; fractured, he was lucky that he wasn't dead, and here, the injury to the brain, new enough that she could still repair. That amazing brain, she couldn't let that damage stay. More power flowed from her skin into Hank.  
  
Sera. Serendipity.  
  
Only Hank called her that. She pulled her sight back from depths of Hank to see him through human eyes. He was awake now.   
  
Sera, pull out. I'm fixed now, I'm better. His voice was a gentle rumble as he struggled to sit up. She hugged him fast and hard.  
  
Good, cause I need your help with Jean. She's lost a lot of blood, more than I can rebuild, at least more than I can rebuild fast enough. Do we have any?  
  
Hank was up and bouncing across the room. Yes, I take blood from each of the X-Men every two months, in preparation for just this eventuality.  
  
Scott had come back while she had been inside Hank's skin. He stood by the stretcher, face drawn, the goggles covering his eyes doing nothing to hide the tears slowing etching his face. He looked at Sera and even though she couldn't see his eyes, she knew exactly what he was feeling.  
  
Touching her shoulder, she poured reassurance and compassion into him. Don't worry, Scott. We'll fix her. But you can't touch her while I'm in-- bad things will happen.  
  
Reluctantly, he let go. There was blood on his hands, from keeping pressure on the ugly gut wound. She gave him a lot of credit for being able to think so clearly when that was his woman bleeding to death.  
  
It was Sabretooth, he said blankly. He found some new friends. He hit her, he has claws. They're shorter than Wolverine's but they still do the trick. And he just kept hitting.  
  
Scott. I need you to stop talking. I can't be distracted here.  
  
His voice held an empty sound. Shock, too. She had to take a look at him and at Storm. But later.   
  
On Jean's stretcher now, she poured herself into the older woman. Scott was right, she had been brutally gouged. It was a lot of different wounds, all ugly. Modern medicine wouldn't have been able to fix this; too much damage, too much internal bleeding. She, like Hank, was lucky to still be breathing.  
  
Sera could fix the organs, the veins and capillaries. She could reknit the skin. She could crawl into the hollows of Jean's bones, into her marrow and begin to build new blood. All this was good. None was fast good enough if Hank didn't get that new blood into her. A new body was no good if it didn't have any of the red stuff. There! A flash of new pain, a hole made in a vein of the arm, blood flowing in. The rush of the fresh blood was intoxicating, almost like a drug to Sera's system. In a rush, she pulled out of Jean's bones, concentrated on making sure everything else was in one piece, making sure that Hank wasn't pouring new blood in just to have it flow right out again. There. And there. And there. One by one, the many holes in Jean were closed, the skin regrew. No scars. Sera didn't see it. She had passed out, too much of herself in other people.  
  
  
It was Storm who was sitting with her when she awoke. Storm, Ororo, the woman she had never felt close too. You're awake. There were still bruises on Storm's face; it looked like it hurt her to talk. Sera couldn't figure why it was her who was here.  
  
Hank is resting; he's fine but tired. Scott's with Jean. Hank says she'll be fine. You saved her life.  
  
Sera nodded. she whispered.  
  
A long hesitation. Storm wouldn't meet her eyes; instead, she stared out the window behind Sera's bed. People were not really Storm's strong point; Sera knew that. Her talent, her mutant power lay in controlling the weather and Sera thought that was the reason why the other woman always seemed more in tune with nature than with people. Finally Storm said, eyes still focused on the sky, I'm sorry, Sera. He's gone. He went looking for Sabretooth.  
  
He wanted revenge. It wasn't a question. Sera had gotten to know Logan as well as anyone could. Which, she admitted to herself, wasn't very. He was impulsive and solitary, a predator. And she knew he had had a serious hate on for Sabretooth even before the man had mangled his precious Jean.  
  
Sera's heart cringed as she remembered how Wolverine had been so quick to toss her aside as soon as Jean was hurt. That early obsession, that hopeless passion he had felt for the woman had not been so easily killed by three months with Sera. And now he was gone, out hunting the man who had hurt his perfect woman. Nothing like reality to throw a little icy water on you when you least needed it.  
  
Thanks for telling me, Storm, Sera said finally. I think I need to be alone now.  
  
Storm nodded and stood. For a second she stared down at Sera, her blue eyes gentle. There isn't one of us who doesn't thank you for what you did for Jean and Hank.  
  
Sera's body still felt bruised from the fall she had taken from Wolverine's hands. She still remembered how there had been no feeling for her when he touched her, only rage and anger. Thanks for that Storm. But its pretty obvious there's one person who doesn't thank me.  
  
Storm left then and Rakehell leaped up on Sera's bed to curl into a furry moon on her belly; his loud purr rumbled all through her, soothed her.  
  
Lose a man, get a cat.  



	8. Coming Back

Coming Back

Logan did not come back. Jean and strangely, even Scott, tried to comfort her. He did this sometimes, they said. Sometimes, he just left. He would be back. He always came back. Rogue, Logan's protegee ever since he had saved her life nearly two years ago, was less forgiving. She blamed Sera and there was no mistaking it. Terry did her darndest to calm her best friend down, but still Rogue glared at Sera during class, her eyes filled with accusations. Around Rogue's neck were Wolverine's old dogtags, legacy of an army he didn't remember fighting with. The girl made a point of fingering them during class.  
  
So Sera threw herself into work and into adopting Terry. They got a small apartment in town, where they stayed on weekends. Sera took the girl back home to the mountains where the Jannhansons had lived for generations for the winter holidays. Her mother, Celest and her sister, Raphie were thrilled. Terry was only a couple of years older that Sera's niece, Kat, and it was a relief to everyone when the two girls hit it off right away.   
  
Sera had known her mother would be able to read the scars Wolverine's vanishing act had left. Celest was easily a better empath. What surprised Sera is that her mother would bring up the subject. What, talk to Sera the rebel? Sera the blacksheep? It became clear real fast, though, that her mother would talk, it seemed, because no matter what else Sera was, she was still Sera the Jannhanson.  
  
There's a darkness in you, child, that wasn't there before.  
  
Sera wove her shields tighter to hide her anger. Raphie, Kat and Terry were all sleeping. It was just her and Celest. Stellar. She loved her mother but she had never fit into the family mold. Checking in on me, Mama?  
  
Hard to miss it. Hardly needed to look.  
  
I wish you wouldn't. My life is my business.  
  
You got hurt by someone, Sera. You let someone in and they hurt you. This is why I raised you girls different than that. So regular people wouldn't hurt you.  
  
He wasn't a regular person, Mama. He was like us and he still hurt me.  
  
Jannhansons stand alone, Sera. I've taught you that and I've taught you that.  
  
And how well has that took, Mama? The world's changing, we can't just be mountain mystics anymore. Raphie went to college, she's a nurse at the hospital and she midwifes for the town. And she's dating that doctor. You telling her she needs to stand alone?  
  
She's not hurting like you, girl. And she listened well enough before; she won't let that man too close.  
  
I'm not like you, Mama. I don't want to be alone forever, I don't want to keep myself away from people just so I don't get hurt.  
  
Well, you're not alone, are you? You've got Terry now, just like I had you two girls.  
  
This is not the life I want. I want a normal life.  
  
Oh, darling, we're not like other people. We're Jannhansons. You can't escape that.  
  
Sera' s eyes filled with tears as she looked at her mother. There but for the grace of god... if she were the oldest, or the only, she would have no choice. But Celest herself had broken Jannhanson family tradition and had two daughters instead of one, freeing Sera for the life she wanted, instead of this empty existence. She loved her mother and her family, was proud of the Jannhanson family and its strong traditions. Sometimes, she even caught herself missing the mountains. But she couldn't be a part of this life. She had never been a part of it. She wanted more, she always had. I can try. Terry and I are going home tomorrow.  
  
Go as far as you want girl; that darkness isn't going no place.  
  
* * * * *  
  
He'd been out for months, hunting, but Sabretooth was nowhere to be found. And he stayed out, telling himself it was Sabretooth but in reality it was so much more.  
  
Logan couldn't forget the look on Sera's face as she hit the floor. Couldn't forget the sound of her body crashing to the ground as he was made to drop her. She had made a small sound of surprise and pain as she crashed into the hard tile. He figured he'd never forget that sound. He had no idea what to say to her after that, no idea what to do after so clearly placing Jean above her.   
  
He had thought then he was over Jean, only to be taken surprise by his feelings when she was hurt. Knew now, as the weeks without Sera passed, that it was true; he was over her. That display in the lab, that was wanting Jeannie, yeah, but it was wanting her whole again, fixed and perfect, the way she had always fixed him up, when something happened to his healing. She had always been there for him, he had needed to be there for her. He could tell now, it wasn't a romance thing. There was no real coming between her and Cyke, he had always known that. Seemed like all of him had finally caught onto the picture, now that he was away from the whole messy situation.  
  
His wanting Jean better hadn't been the only reason he went so nuts. Much as he hated to admit it, part of it was sheer jealousy, wounded male pride. There was no missing how Hank looked at Sera and no missing how she felt about the furry doctor. So he had wondered then, why it was she wanted Hank better first. Any one reason in particular why she couldn't stand to see him hurt? The jealousy was stupid, he knew that, but Sera was an educated woman, an intelligent woman and Hank could give her that, what was it called? Intellectual companionship. Logan himself was pretty sure he had gone to school, but those memories were lost to him, just like damn near everything else was.   
  
It used put him in a rough spot sometimes, those sneaky worries that maybe he wasn't good enough for her. But if he was worried before, now he was just sickly certain. Sera deserved a man, not an animal. That display in the lab, the way he hurt her, that showed what he was. Which made it damn pity that being away from her only made him realize that he wanted her more than almost anything. Made him realize that might be love he felt, maybe. Damn, but he had some lousy timing.  
  
So he kept gone, trying to figure out what to say to her, how to fix the mess he had gotten them into. He went back to his old life, before Xavier and the X-Men, to cage fighting, brawling for cash. It was a good way not to think, it was a good way to be day by day, instead of wondering if she would forgive him. If she would turn to Hank... if she would just take Terry and leave... is she was just as happy he was gone. There had to be a way to put this right. Only he had never been any good at putting things right, only at making em wrong.  
  
So he stayed gone, and he kept fighting and when it rained, he stayed inside and made a point not to look out the window.   
  
* * * * *  
  
Here you go, hot cocoa made to order.  
  
Sera watched as Hank took a sip and sighed. Why does your hot chocolate always taste so superior to the others, Serendipity? he asked, clearly savoring the flavor. The huge kitchen window let in the cold, clear January light. He and Sera were the only ones in the kitchen; the others all out at various places that Sunday.  
  
Family secret, was Sera's reply, quickly hiding the cinnamon so he wouldn't guess. Couldn't have that little secret get out, could she? It would ruin her rep as the cocoa queen of the mansion.  
  
How are things for you today, my dear? he asked kindly, looking at her grading stuff spread out over the kitchen table.  
  
Busy but good, she replied. I'm really liking it here.  
  
We are more family than school, was his reply and she nodded her agreement. Look at her and Terry for instance. That adoption was moving along speedily; no one else wanted a mutant. Their loss, she figured, was her gain. But the staff had become family, too, and their close knit student body. She was happy here, she realized, her head against Hank's warm, furry, shoulder.  
  
Y'know, my mom told me if I let people close to me, they'd hurt me. But I think she's wrong.  
  
Sera, you have to remember, your family... well, even among the mutant community, your situation is unique. Your family have been mutants for generations. Now, they found a way to make it safe for them, but that involved being, as you put it, mountain mystics. As you say, they are distant and removed from society because such behavior kept them safer. it only makes sense that, on the whole, your family feels it's best to be alone. But you are taking steps to move your family into mainstream. Its a not a bad thing, what you're doing, but your family's way of living is also not a bad thing.  
  
Yeah, I just... I worry... what if she's right? She said all I would get from this is pain.  
  
It wasn't a question; everyone knew that she had walked around like the living dead after he had left.  
  
That was what she was thinking, yeah.  
  
His large hand came up to smooth her spiky hair. You said yourself, that your family doesn't exactly value relationships like that. And yes, none of us are very pleased that Logan has left again. But Sera, even knowing this, would you have done anything differently?  
  
Perched on the back of Logan's bike, riding straight into a storm. Staying up all night, playing pool in the game room, both of them a dead loss in their classes the next day. Dancing with Logan at the local bar, drinking for hours and never feeling it. Looking at Logan from across the room, meeting his eyes and feeling what he was, the two of them alone in a crowed room.  
  
Wolverine, holding her two feet above the ground, demanding she fix Jean. The feral mask of Wolverine's face as she fell, as he was dragged fighting out of the lab. Wolverine who left. Wolverine who had been gone for two months now.  
  
Wolverine, Logan, the man she'd been drawn to from he moment they met. The man who made her wild, who had brought her back to life after years of hiding beneath her skin. The man who caught her when she fell, and the acted like the catch was no big deal. A knight in rusty armor, man without a name. How could he have taught her so much about herself when he knew nothing of himself?  
  
The man who vanished without a trace. The man inside of whom lived an animal.  
  
  
  
You and the tough questions, Hank, and she knew from the look on his face that he had figured out that was all the answer that he was gonna get.   
  
_Sera?_ Only Jean ever spoke inside her head. Xavier could, but rarely did. He kept a mental distance from Sera, knowing his presence in her thoughts were not always welcome.  
  
_Jeannie?_ It had taken time to learn to respond. Now she knew that if she thought clearly enough, Jeannie could just pluck the words out of her mind.  
  
_There's a man for you at the front gate. You want me to let him in?_ Just as Jeannie could read Sera's thoughts, Sera could read the other's feelings. Wary, intrigued... impressed?  
  
_Who?  
  
Says he's Charm. That who I think it is?  
_   
_Sure is. Yeah, send him in. Hank and I are in the kitchen.  
  
Does he...?  
  
Know we're all mutants at the school? Yeah. Know about the X-Men? No, a million times no.  
  
All right. _ A pause. _He's on his way in.  
  
_* * * * *  
_   
_The red headed woman who had let him in, who had said she was Dr. Jean Grey-- and it was a name he knew, thanks to his current research into human mutations-- had said Sera was in the kitchen and had given clear, simple directions to get there. He had started to ask how she knew where Sera was without calling and then thought better of it. He guessed he knew, really, how the woman had known.  
  
Mutant. She was one, too.  
  
Looking around at the mansion, he was amazed at the luxury all around him. Yes, this would make an elegant school and yet, it seemed so un-Sera-like. He remembered her old middle school. It was an old brick building, hard used by the years but a building with character, with a soul. A city school. She'd been happy there. He couldn't picture her here.  
  
There was some students hanging out in one of the rooms he passed. He thought he saw Terry, who had always been a fixture at Sera's place. She was with some other boys and girls, all different ages. They were laughing. He couldn't remember having heard her laugh before.  
  
And then this must be the kitchen. He pushed open a swinging door and went into the brightly lit room.   
  
At first he only had eyes for Sera. He hadn't seen her since August, had almost forgotten how she looked, how she lit up a room. Today, she wore baggy black velvet-like overalls and what looked like a nearly sheer dark red silk shirt. Her feet were bare, the toes nails painted the same dark red that tipped her fingers, after the black polish. She called the look vamp French manicure but it mostly looked like she trailed her nails in blood. She hadn't changed. Why had he thought she would, why would he think that anything external would change, now he knew what she was? It couldn't be that she had changed, she had always been this. It was him who had had to change.  
  
It took a second to see the rest of the room. A second before he had to stop himself from staring. Sitting with Sera was a... man? He barely looked human. Tall and broad, but slightly hunched, covered in blue fur... The man made to go, but Sera grabbed his arm, pulled him back down to his chair. Charm didn't think the man's abrupt movement was because he was embarrassed to be seen by a normal human. Rather, he seemed to have a clear idea of who Charm was and seemed to want to give them privacy.  
  
This is Hank, said Sera, without preamble, without warmth, without a hello. Doctor Henry McCoy. He's a biochemist, very well known; he works here too.  
  
Good to meet you. I'm Mike. Somehow he didn't think this man wanted to call him Charm. He tried to shake the doctor's hand; he faltered. The man took his hand, acting as if he had noticed nothing hesitant in Charm's gesture.  
  
Delighted, I'm sure, the man replied in an incredibly deep voice.   
  
I wanted you two to meet, Sera went on, not only because Hank is one of my best friends and confidants here, but because I wanted you to really understand what I was. Correctly reading the confusion on his face, Sera went on. The only difference between Hank and me is that when you look at him, you actually see a mutant. Me, I can pass. But I don't want to anymore. I'm just as much a mutant as Hank here and I want you to realize that, Charm. I want you to truly understand that while I'm human, I am not the same kind of human as you are.  
  
I know that. I've thought long and hard about that. He stared at her, drinking her in with his eyes. She still looked human, she had always looked human. He thought he could get used to anything, if she still looked human.  
  
prompted Sera and Charm realized that his silence had gone on too long, that he hadn't answered her unspoken question.  
  
And I'm fine with that. I don't care what you are, I just want you back, were the unspoken words. The words he couldn't say yet, not to a Sera who didn't smile, not in front of this monster-man who watching Sera with what had to be concern. Sera had never really had close friends before and Charm was finding it suddenly unnerving to wonder what this man knew about him.  
  
Quiet fell again. Charm stared at Sera, Sera stared at the table in front of her and Hank the Amazing Blue Guy stared into the distance, making a real obvious point of not looking at either of them. Finally Sera stood and jerked her head at the door. Let's go, Charm, we gotta talk. Hank, could you...?  
  
Take your things down to the lab so that you don't have to worry about them anymore? Certainly, Serendipity. We'll continue our talk later.  
  
Sera's lips quirked into a less than happy grin. Oh, I'm sure we will. And then she was out the door, Hank was gathering her books and Charm was hurrying to catch up with the woman who he refused to lose a second time.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sera looked over her room, trying to imagine what it looked like through Charm's eyes. There was the single bed that came with the room; her old queen size was at the apartment in town but Charm had no idea about that place. Her desk was crowded with her computer, disk drive, and printer. The bookshelves were crowded with teaching materials. On the wall were pictures of her family, pictures of Terry. Stuffed in a corner of her desk, facing in now, was a picture Jean had taken of her with Logan and Terry. It was great of all three of them; hell, they looked like a regular family. It made her guts twist funny to look at that pictures these days. Family material, Logan was not. She had never kidded herself about that; she framed the picture only cause they all looked so happy and cause it made her laugh, knowing that such a normal looking picture hid such strangeness. A picture tells a thousand words, yeah, right. This one hide more than it could ever say. Terry, who could fly, who could call and control fire. Logan, with his entire skeleton was coated with metal, who had claws and could survive damn near anything. And her, Sera, who could feel heal herself, heal others, who could feel other people's feeling as clearly, as easily, as if they were her own.   
  
For instance, right now Charm was happy to see her, more than happy, but feeling over his head when confronted with the new life she had chosen. He thought he was ready, was trying hard to be ready, but it had all suddenly become a little too real. Now he was floundering. Trying to deal, hoping he could be the man for her despite all this weirdness.  
  
He was staring at her, handsome, worried, wonderful Charm. Why did all the men in her life leave? She would have said once that Charm and Logan were polar opposites, and yet, both had a real talent for disappearing.   
  
So, Charm... she began, not knowing where she was going, trailing off in confusion quickly.  
  
You never said hello, he suggested helpfully, when it seemed like she couldn't say anything else. She remembered meeting him; it had been a lot like this, only she had been flumoxed then by his beauty, lost in astonishment that a man like this could want her. She was still astonished that he would, but for now it was the mutation and not his model good looks that had her confused. He still wanted her, that much was clear.  
  
she said finally and stepped towards him. He was not Logan, there was none of that forest fire physical chemistry between them. But there was three years of familiarity. There was the fact that her heart was hurting from being left again and again.   
  
And, in the end, there was the fact that Charm had come back and Logan had stayed gone. That Charm had chosen her and that Logan... hadn't. They remembered to close the door. Barely. She knew they needed to talk. She knew she was making yet another in a parade of bad choices. She didn't care. One of them had come back.  



	9. Waiting for Midnight

Waiting for Midnight

All usual disclaimer junk. Sera, Terry, the Jannhansons and Charm are mine.  
  
Author's note: I have to give credit where credit is due. The line enter the palace came from Roosevelt W., and remains the most unusual and yet polite euphemism for sex I have **ever** heard a thirteen year old boy use and I suspect it will hold that honor for a long while. I always said that if I ever wrote a trashy romance novel, that would be the title. This is the next best thing.Thanks Roosevelt. I'm still laughing.  
  
  
Waiting for Midnight  
  
Wolverine almost had to laugh at the look on good ol' Cyke's face when he opened the door. Let's see now, is that disgust or horror? Hard to tell when you could never see a guy's eyes. But it was still pretty funny.  
  
Good thing something had made him laugh. He'd ridden back to the mansion, the only place like home he could ever remember, in the middle of the mother all rainstorms. It reminded him too much of the night Sera had first showed up, soaked to the skin, clutching on to Terry like she was never gonna let go.  
  
Sera. Got to be where he couldn't feel the rain, anymore, without thinking of her. Sera, dancing in a downpour, her feet bare, her black clothes pressed wetly against her body. Sera, laughing into the wind as an autumn storm blew up, not caring a bit as the lightening flashed closer and closer. Sera, daring the world to do its worst, she could take it. She used to beg Storm to call the rain and lightening, just for her.   
  
He'd come back cause life on the road had gotten old. Life alone had gotten old. Much as he hated to admit it, and he did hate it, life with the X-Men had changed him. It had never been his choice to come here; Cyke called it the X-Men saving his skin-- the start of a relationship that was no better today. He'd come with Rogue then, had once even talked her into staying at the place. He'd had come back after the first time he left cause Storm was right, he had to make a choice and it seemed Xavier was the better one. He kept coming back cause it was the only place, stupid as it sounded, that he could call a home. Hell, even a family.  
  
So here he stood, getting wetter and wetter as Cyke blocked the door, staring.  
  
You mind, bub? I'm freezing my ass off out here, he snarled finally and pushed past Cyclops, heading up the main stairs with his bag. They never bothered to give his room away; the prof always knew he was coming back.   
  
Cyke called as Wolverine slogged up the stairs.   
  
Can it wait, One-Eye? I'm not getting any dryer.   
  
He hadn't forgotten that Sera's room was right across from his. What he had forgotten in that first blinding moment of seeing Sera was that four months had passed since he'd been in the mansion. She was laughing at...something, he didn't know what, and she still smelled like cinnamon. Even from down the hall, he could smell her, could hear her heart as it begin to beat faster. His eyes grabbed hers and he let her see, let her feel, how much he missed her. Her laugh stilled as she stared at him; he knew she could tell what he was feeling, seeing her again. She flushed and reached a hand out to the wall, to keep her steady. Damn, that was fun! He loved that he didn't even have to touch her for her to feel it. He loved her, stupid as that sounded.   
  
He dropped his bag and took a step towards her-- slow. There was no need to rush things. No need at all... Seeing her, he thought he had all the time in the world. And this time, this time, he would do things right. Say the right things, do the right things. Not leave.   
  
It was then that a familiar figure stepped out of her room. Charm. The younger man put a possessive hand on her waist, right under her ribs; you didn't touch a woman there is she wasn't your's. He was clearly about to ask what was wrong, why she had stopped. Wolverine's growl stopped him flat. Sera's eyes went... wider. Wasn't only the good things she could feel through that bond of theirs; right now she had to be able to tell he wanted that pretty boy-toy of hers in about a million pieces. Only Charm was surprised when Wolverine's claws sprang free of his skin with the usual sound.   
  
Off her, he snarled and Charm, manly man that he was, jumped to obey. Wolverine snorted in disgust.  
  
What's a matter, darlin', Wolverine drawled, unimpressed. You get sick o' bein' with a real man so ya went back to him?  
  
Sera pushed off from the wall and stalked towards him. She had to be the only person who'd walk towards him when he was this pissed off, but he knew it for a fact that she didn't back down from fight. Ever.  
  
You got something to say here, Wolverine? she spat at him, radiating an anger so strong that he could feel it push him even closer over the edge. He had always been kinda secretly relieved they had never fought for real; they drove each other too hard. In passion, it was one thing, in anger... well, suicidally stupid woulda been the word, if either of them were any easy at all to kill. Sera stopped right in front of him, making no contact. Yeah, she had never needed to, to make her point. I can't imagine what you'd have to say, seeing as you've been gone so long. Seeing as you left cause of Jean. Seeing as you never said goodbye.  
  
Yer mine, was his only response; he was itching to rip Charm's limbs off but Sera was in the way. And she wasn't budging. Charm was looking flat out scared; Wolverine could hear him gulp noisily. What'd she see in a loser like this? And almost as strong as the desire to maim and kill her pretty boy was to grab Sera and hold her, to get all of the other man's scent off of her, to make her his again. to mark her as his and no one else's/ The conflicting emotions ripped through him, reminded him of what he was at heart. More animal than man.   
  
I'm yours? she repeated incredulously. I got news for you, tough guy; I'm mine! Not his, not yours, mine!  
  
Yeah? Well, you better go making a choice, darlin', Wolverine warned, reaching out and tracing the edge of her face with one razor sharp claw. Cause whoever the hell you are, I don't share.  
  
He was surprised; she didn't flinch. Instead, she went still, perfectly motionless except for her eyes. They slid to the side, the better to watch his claws rest against her smooth skin. Angry as he was, he could still tell that his rage could change into something a little different, if she just made the right move. So close to her, he even forgot her mundane boy-toy. There was just Sera. Just like there was always just Sera, whenever they were together. Even his claws on her skin gave him a strange thrill. Anyone else would have run, or fought, but Sera simply watched.   
  
You never were my boyfriend, she replied coolly as she stepped back, pulling away from the claws. Remember? You weren't a relationship type of a guy.  
  
It was Charm, his voice hesitant. There were about a million unasked questions in his voice. Sera didn't bother to answer any of them.  
  
I think you'd better go for right now, Charm, was her only reply. Logan seems to be a little grumpy after his long trip. You'd hate to see him really mad. It was a warning. She didn't look at Charm when so spoke; she was watching Wolverine, her eyes cold and expressionless. Charm himself didn't move. He was staring at them like they were a train wreck or a car accident. Something horrible you just can't pull your eyes away from. Go, Charm! she repeated more firmly and he did then, inching past them carefully, stinking of fear.  
  
Wolverine waited till he was just past to say, loudly, Your boy needs some manners there, darlin'. He don't follow directions real easy.  
  
She made a move towards him, then. Her hand came up to rest against the skin of his face, just like his claws had rested against hers. He could feel the same threatening air coming from her that he had felt in himself only moments ago. But even being able to tell how mad she was, how close to the edge her anger had pushed her, some part of him still felt nothing but pleasure from the contact. He'd missed her touch, he hadn't realized how much. And you, she whispered softly, her voice gone as cold as ice. You need to mind your own business. You don't get to waltz in here after being gone four months-- four months!-- and act like nothing's changed. You know what I could do with this gift of mine, if I were the same kind of person you were? I could tell your skin to rip itself off your living body and it would. I could tell your heart to stop beating, your brain to stop functioning and they would. But I'm not you and I'm not going to make threats or even promises. I'm just going to walk away now and you are not going to follow. Are we clear here? We're not doing this again.  
  
She wasn't kidding. There was no missing that. He pulled his claws back in and stepped around Sera to head to his room. We're not done here, girl, he growled as she started down the stairs. We're just done for now.  
  
Used to be, Sera would always have a comeback. But now there was only silence as she walked down the stairs, maybe to catch up with that pathetic Charm. No doubt about it, four months was a long time to be gone. And he was right; he was no damn good at putting things right. So much for how things were gonna be different this time. Only difference was, now she didn't want him back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was only with Terry that Sera managed to feel at peace these days. Charm phoned every bloody day, trying to make sense of that mess in the hall. She was running out of excuses for why she couldn't talk. Wolverine was pulling this thing where he mostly avoided her like she had rabies, except for those times when he'd come up behind her, grab her, growl and tell her she was driving him crazy. Oh, but try to ever actually talk to the man! She'd be lucky if all she got was a grunt. Usually, he'd just give her this inscrutable look and walk away. And God help her if Charm actually came by and Logan saw him... It was hard to miss the fact that Charm was coming to the mansion less and less. Made sense though, what with being afraid Logan would skewer him. So, all things considered, it was a real relief to go with Terry to their small apartment in town and get away from all the tension. Only Xavier had the number; the apartment had become their retreat when life at the school got a little too intense.  
  
So, I've been seeing you with that new boy an awful lot. What's his name? Warren? The one with the wings. Anything I should know? Sera was mincing onions for tacos-- not comfort food but girls night in food. They'd rented a bunch of cheesy videos and were planning to be lazy slugs for the whole weekend.  
  
Terry laughed as she sliced tomatoes. Maybe. Maybe not. He's cute, though, doncha think?  
  
Well, you know I've got a weakness for wings, kidded Sera. The largest tattoos on her back were elaborate, feathered wings. Terry had once told Warren's wealthy mother, as she stared at them in horror while visiting the school, that Sera had wings cause she was an angel. Really, Sera just liked em. It was worth it for the look on Mrs. Worthington's face, though. Plus there was the whole how sweet thing, just hearing Terry saying that.  
  
began Terry, a blush starting on her face, we've got, like, a date thing next Friday. I mean, if that's cool.  
  
Home by midnight, was Sera's response, grinning. With only fourteen years between her and Terry, it was hard to feel like her mom. Mostly, it seemed to be a big sister, little sister type deal and they were both fine with that. While they both got used to things, they fell back on the school rules and midnight was the weekend curfew. There was always an unlucky teacher who's job it was to make sure everyone got home at the correct time. Sera, the newest on staff, seemed to get the job with depressing frequency. She figured she'd ask for this weekend, though. Cause hey, her kid. Her kid. You going with anyone else?  
  
Yeah, Rogue and Bobby. She finally agreed to a date. He's only been asking her, for like, forever. That's doomed, though. Everyone knows she's got the hots for Wolverine.  
  
Sera stopped shredding. She what?  
  
Terry's eyes were wide. Jay, man, I thought you knew. I mean, you're an empath! How does something like that slip past you? She's had the hots for him ever since he rescued her from that Canadian bar. He's like, her hero.  
  
There really seemed to be no connection between her voice and her brain. Her vocal cords kept on making words, her brain was long gone. Rogue. Rogue was a pretty girl; older than Terry if still years too young for Logan. Then again, he wasn't the kinda guy to pay attention to social niceties.  
  
He doesn't, you know, reciprocate em, though. Treats her like she's his kid. Y'know, kinda like me and you, only the law's not on their side like it is on ours. Terry's adoption had been legal for a month now. Rogue, there was no adopting. She refused to talk about her past; no one knew where she came from, besides that ratty fight bar in Canada where Wolverine had found her. Only Wolverine even called her by her real name; she wouldn't let anyone else use it. C'mon, everybody knows he's crazy about you, Jay. Even when he's avoiding you, we can tell.  
  
Sera was silent. From the mouths of babes. Maybe if she stayed quiet, Terry would let some more interesting gossip slip. But no, it was not to be.  
  
What'cha gonna do about that, anyway, Sera? You gonna take him back?  
  
Keep chopping, kid. Just keep chopping.  
  
  
The way Sera saw it, she had a couple of choices. The first choice was to give up on this whole idea of having anything like a normal life. Live like a Jannhanson, close to no one but blood kin. And Hank had confirmed her guess; while she could have kids the normal, human way, she didn't have to. Her power, less of a healing ability and more an incredibly precise type of genetic, cellular and molecular manipulation, would let her conceive asexually. She could be the latest in a long line of all women Jannhansons, a mystic come to New York, Xavier's perfect mutant. Hell; she could even become an X-Man and not just the teacher of tomorrow's superheros. Or she could try for normalcy; marriage, kids the natural way, the whole shish-ka-bob. Charm seemed to be leaning towards door number two. Well, and after three years, who could blame the man? She knew that if she didn't do something, anything, soon, she would lose the man. Men like Charm don't just hang around, waiting for you to make up your mind. He could have any woman he wanted. It was past stupid to keep tempting fate this way.  
  
And yet... and yet... there were mornings when she woke up and everything felt so flat. She remembered, with amazing clarity, how alive she felt with Wolverine. Logan. Every sense tingling, every part of her awake and aware. She had never known life could be that way, so crystal clear and filled with detail. Of course, on the down side was the fact they could barely go a day without arguing and that a person couldn't exactly call Wolverine the commitment type. If she wanted a normal life, she was looking in the wrong place there.  
  
It was the world's fault. Her own small world, which was the Jannhanson world, and the great big human world, where everyone else lived, both of them. In the world she grew up in, there was no considering either Charm or Wolverine; you got hurt that way, destroyed. There was just your child and yourself, another link in a chain going nowhere. And there was the human world, and its value on a life long monogamy, commitment, marriage. The American dream, with its picket fences and two point three children. How, she wondered, did you get the point three part, lop some kid's head off? Oh, wait, that was Logan's world. It all seemed so alien to her, a dream world she could never touch.  
  
She read the books, saw the T.V. shows; people in love seemed so... perfect, so right for each other. They were never really confused. She herself had no idea how love like that worked, what it looked like, how it felt. Her family had never placed any value on love and commitment; why bother? Her mom had once said that marriage and all its legal trapping were just about procreation. Not a value held by Jannhansons, the need for legal children, the need to prove a blood tie. Stupid patriarchy, her mom said, but Sera had always been fascinated. But when it came to her own life, it was not a skill she could learn. Nature, nurture, whatever, it was too late. She was never going to be able to tell what a real, healthy relationship was like.   
  
All this musing and she was no closer to an answer.   
  
  
11:30 and all's well. Sera felt like calling it out, like those old time watchmen. Anything to make curfew duty go faster. She had a pile of grading in front of her, which she was haphazardly getting through. No one, no one, wanted to grade on a Friday night. Next to it was a sleazy romance, one of those ones from the drugstore. She was rewarding herself without after after few pages that she got done. Little treat for the teacher. Once she was all the way done, she could just read till the last of the kids came home.   
  
Terry was out with Warren, Rogue and Bobby. Dinner out and a movie, sounded safe enough. Course, it was Terry's first date with Sera on Mommy-watch and that in of itself made this evening sort of stressful. What if Terry were late? How would she deal with it? Was there stuff you learned, raising them from a baby, that there was just no way to figure out if you got them as teenagers?   
  
Footsteps behind her and the feel of eyes on her back. Watchful, interested... Sera said without turning around. She kept her voice cold, a reminder that she wasn't his... his... his whatever anymore. Roughly half the time, that reminder didn't work, but it was always worth a try.   
  
he returned, his voice low and gruff, the way it always was when he talked to her these days. Some hint of what he was feeling crept past her shields, shivered into her mind, so she knew tonight, just like she knew each time, that Wolverine was a mess. He was regretting stuff, she could tell. He was confused about stuff, angry at himself, at her, at Charm, at the world. And he missed her, she could feel that too, and was pissed at himself for screwing things up. Sometimes she was actually tempted to talk to him about the whole mess, the other half she just wanted to scream at him to stop feeling so damn sorry for himself, it was his fault that they were in this mess in the first place. Sera made it a point to keep a real tight hold on her shields these days, when she was around him. Didn't totally work but it was better than nothing.  
  
Kids back yet? He was still at her back and another quick thread of feeling lanced through her shields. Protectiveness, worry. Ah, now she understood. Rogue.  
  
Nope, but the night's still young.   
  
He grunted and, to her amazement, grabbed up a chair and pulled it to the desk she was sitting at.   
  
Logan, what the hell you doing?  
  
was his only reply. Nice to know the man worried about something. No, that was unfair. She knew he took his promise to take care of Rogue very seriously. It was one of the things she had always liked about him, that he was a man of his word; that, while he didn't say much, you could count on what he said. So she let him stay, didn't try to push him away, cause she knew he just wanted to see Rogue safe.  
  
Still, it was damn awkward, being here with him, feeling him under her skin, in her mind. It was hell sometimes, having him so close, knowing that nothing about how they felt had changed. No, the only change was those four missing months. And sometimes, that wasn't enough for her to remember she couldn't climb into his lap, or make a proposition, or do any of the hundreds of things she wanted to do, that she missed doing. Hell, that she still daydreamed about doing. Charm was a lot of things, a lot of good things, but there had never been this pull between them.   
  
A few incredibly dull minutes passed. She tried to get some some more grading done, to feel like she was accomplishing something, but it was hard to concentrate; she could feel his eyes on her. By the time she had read the third sentence of Jubilee's essay on _The Tempest _ for the eighteenth time-- and it wasn't a good sentence, they'd have to have another talk about verb/noun agreement-- she decided enough was enough. Putting the piles of paper down, she grabbed her trashy romance off the small table and leafed through till she found where she left off.  
  
A low, rumbly voice. What'cha reading?  
  
Like she wanting him to know.   
  
A gruff laugh. Well, it was better than a lot of the conversations they'd been having lately. Trying her hardest to ignore him, never a really great skill of hers, she worked at really throwing herself into the book. Oh, good, a sleazy part. With a happy sigh, she settled herself more comfortably into her chair; it was stuff like this she brought the damn things for.   
  
A few minutes into the book, just a she was getting to really good part, the novel was yanked out of her hands.   
  
She swung around; he had the book and she could see him to start to read, his eyes sliding quickly across the page. Damnit, Wolverine!  
  
With a wicked grin, he began reading aloud. Josephine, you know, you know... you know I want to enter your palace. Please, Josephine... ' You read this stuff? Why not just buy a dirty magazine and get it over with?  
  
She made a grab for the book, while he just laughed and stood, holding it above his head and out of her reach. Will you just give me the bloody book back, Wolverine?  
  
Man of your's must not be treating you right, you need this kind of a thing. Still the book was above her head. It wasn't like he was a tall man, it was just that he was taller than her. Like pretty much every other full grown person on the planet and a lot of the kids. You stay with me, darlin' you wouldn't need to read about that stuff; you could have it.  
  
Sera made a final desperate jump for the book; really, this was pathetic. Why did she let herself get pulled into stuff like this with him? It was stupid, it was juvenile. It was _ flirting. _Her jump was off; instead of getting the book, she wound up hitting his chest and sliding down it until her feet were on the floor again.   
  
It was the first time she had touched him in months. He had touched her, but she it was never anything she had started, that she had wanted. This hadn't started out that way, it was true, but the second she came in contact with him again, it was like the last six months had never happened, like he had never left. Her shields had melted in an instant and everything he felt came slamming into her with the force of a mack truck. Even if she hadn't been wanting him herself and she did, oh, god, did she ever, his desire, his need for her, that alone would have done it.  
  
She felt the growl before she heard. It rumbled up through his chest, making her shiver. God, she had missed that.  
  
he muttered raggedly before kissing her roughly. She wrapped her arms around him and it was like they had always been there, like they couldn't belong any other place than around him. His arms were at her neck, than her chest, her waist, her hips. He had picked her up, moved them until she was against the wall and she wrapped her legs around him almost from reflex. She couldn't think, all she wanted was to get closer to him. Closer, closer.  
  
said a voice that must have been loud but sounded about a million miles away to Sera. And you guys say that **we **need chaperones?!?  
  
Sera dazedly pulled away from Wolverine as he carefully let her down, snarling at whoever had the audacity to interrupt them. Bobby, Rogue, Terry and Warren were standing inside the door, all of them bright red and really embarrassed looking. Terry looked the tiniest bit pleased on top of the flaming blush but Rogue just looked pissed beyond belief.  
  
Sera pushed away from the wall, moving past Wolverine, who was still glaring, mostly at Rogue, who had been the one to speak.  
  
Sera said in what she hoped was her most adult, mature voice, You guys made it in before curfew. Good job. Time to get to bed.  
  
They scurried away quickly, not daring to look back. Sera could hear one of the guys, she thought it was Bobby, say in a whisper that was still too loud, What'd you think they would've been doing if we were any later? followed by a loud, as Rogue hit him.  
  
Sera could feel her skin burn. Well, the kids are back so I guess I'd better be getting to bed myself.  
  
Wolverine's hand shot out and grabbed her. She could feel his desire shiver into her, and his anger. He doesn't make you feel this way, he doesn't do what I do to you. It wasn't a question. No kidding. If Charm could really compete that way, she wouldn't have been up against a wall with Wolverine.  
  
She stayed still in his grasp. No, he doesn't, she allowed carefully. But ... There was gonna be an argument there, some decisive statement that would put this whole case to rest once and for all. And she couldn't say it, couldn't say anything. With an angry sigh, she broke away and stalked up the stairs. Really, what else was there to say? He still had her book, damnit, but there was no way she was gonna get within fifty feet of him again to get it back. She just wanted away from him. Finally she said, dully. But it's not enough and you and I both know it.  
  
He ain't all that good and you know it, he called after her. I'm what you need.  
  
Without turning, she spoke again. Her voice was tired, she was tired, being near him made her tired. I don't need this. I don't need any of this. Just leave me alone. You had your chance and you threw it away. You don't get another.  
  
The only answer was the slam of the door as he left.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was her reading that damn book that did it. It got her... excited. He knew, he could tell these things. It was in her breathing, in her heart rate. Hell, it was in her smell. The book excited her. And sitting that close to her, all his senses knowing what she was feeling, it was too much. She used to react that way to him, to him, damnit, and now it was a book that was getting her all hot and bothered? Something was wrong with this picture, seriously wrong.   
  
So he had grabbed the book from her, knowing it would goad her. Seemed like the only reaction he could get out of her these days was anger. She could carry a mad for a long time, she could. Guess they had that in common.   
  
He hadn't really though she would jump for the book, hadn't thought he could push her that far. She hadn't been very playful lately, hadn't been the untamed creature he remembered from before. It was that Charm, he knew; the man just sucked the life out of her. So deadly dull, it was contagious. Some days, he couldn't even figure out where his Sera had gone. And then she had fallen against him and it was too much, it was like having the old Sera back and he couldn't stop himself.  
  
She tasted like lemons and sugar. He remembered how she'd sprinkle sugar on lemon slices and suck on them, her lips on the fruit driving him crazy. She'd lick the juice that slid down her fingers off with her tongue, not even a little self conscious. She'd do this at the dinner table, watching him with an evil little smile, daring him to do his worst. And when he got her alone, he always did. It drove him crazy now, tasting it again, knowing she wasn't doing that for him anymore, knowing she wasn't really his anymore, no matter what he wished.   
  
He could have killed the kids when they came in. He saw the look on Rogue's face, recognized it for what it was. Shit. Another mess he had no idea how to deal with. He knew he had to talk to her about this crush thing but he wasn't real good at stuff like that, and so he just kept hoping it would go away on its own. Not looking real good, there.  
  
And when Sera admitted that Charm didn't make her feel like he did, he felt this totally masculine pride swell up inside him. That was right away killed by her saying it didn't matter. And he was right away reminded that there were about a million things that Charm could give her that he didn't have a hope in hell of really competing with. He kept telling himself she'd be back, but each day it looked less and less likely.  
  
Well, he had fucked up good this time. Growling, he threw himself out the door and slammed it behind him. There wasn't a problem in the world that couldn't be solved by closing a bar or two and getting into a fight or twelve.  



	10. Becoming a Problem

Becoming a Problem

The problem, she said drunkenly to an attentive yet worried Hank, as they sat up in the kitchen, is love.  
  
Do tell, he murmured, dead sober but insistent on staying up with her. No solitary drunken rage or angst for her, she was going to have a friend. Whether she wanted one or not.   
  
You see, I love em both.  
  
I can see how that might become a problem, yes.  
  
Become? Become? Is a problem.  
  
Hank gently pried the empty bottle she was waving around from her hand. No reason to get hurt here. Do explain.  
  
See, Charm, I love im. But its not enough. Can't seem to fill in all the holes. And then there's Logan; I love im, too. But its too much, its burning me alive. No holes, yeah, but nothing else left either.  
  
You should go to bed, Sera.   
  
No fun alone, she complained irritably, propping her chin in her hand and trying to look coy.  
  
None of that, Serendipity. You have enough men problems without adding me to the list.   
  
Poor, patient, Hank, he really put up with a lot. Why couldn't she be in love with him, anyway? Only be fair, if she could fall in love with her best friend. Sera sighed. Life really sucked sometimes. If she had to be a Jannhanson, a weird and mutated human from a long line of weird, mutated humans, why couldn't she be that way through and through? Why couldn't she have the same expectations out of life, the same needs? And on the flip side, if she wasn't going to be like her family, why couldn't she just turn her back on their whole way of doing things? Why was a long term relationship something that she both wanted and yet seemed incapable of figuring out how to have? She had thought leaving the mountains would have somehow cured her of all this confusion and for six years she thought it had. Now she was just beginning to realize that she hadn't lost anything, she had just buried it so deep she thought she would never find it again.  
  
she groaned in a tone filled with self-pity, resting her head on the table, why can't I be like other people?  
  
He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. Because then you wouldn't be Sera.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Logan was just stepping out if his own room when he saw Hank walking out of Sera's room. Now, he knew, really he did, that there was nothing going on between Hank and Sera. He would have heard. Hell, he would have smelled. Somehow, he woulda been able to tell. And it was that tiny, barely there bit of restraint that kept him from trying to rip off the other man's face and use it to clean his bike. As it was, he couldn't help himself from getting up in the other man's face and growling angrily.  
  
You got business in there, bub? he managed to snarl out, the words having a hard time making past the mad.  
  
Hank sighed, readjusted his glasses, looked solemn. In fact, I did. She passed out drunk downstairs and I thought it best she sleep it off in bed.  
  
repeated Logan incredulously. Sera don't get drunk. She heals too fast.  
  
That's not entirely correct, Logan. Serendipity can't get drunk... unless she chooses to. She has enough control over her body to make that choice or not. Tonight, I would classify as a cheap date night. She was out like a light in just a couple of hours. Hank tipped his head to Logan and headed wandered down the stairs and whatever work had no doubt about it been interrupted by a drunk Sera.  
  
A drunk Sera. He couldn't even believe it. The only person he'd ever met that could match him drink for drink and she was out cold. Okay, he was an animal. He was a disgusting perv of a guy... he had to see it for himself. It was just, well, he was never gonna believe it otherwise...really, that was it. He didn't care about anything else. He sure didn't care about seeing Sera in bed again, even if he couldn't have her, even if she smelled like that wimp Charm all the bloody time now... Nah, he just had to see it with his own two eyes, that was all.  
  
Growling, cursing himself but being too much an animal or maybe just too much a man, he pushed her door open and went into the room. His eyes, always good in the dark, showed him nothing much in here had changed. It was still neat as a pin, the only place showing the sloppiness that was Sera's natural inclination was the closet; while the nice stuff she called her teacher's clothes were hanging up, the floor was a mess of black t-shirts, jeans, leggings, cutoffs and some more fancy stuff, velvets and laces, leather and fishnet. Her wildchild clothes, she called them.  
  
Sera was curled up in the bed like a cat. Her skimpy tank top showed off both the large wing tattoos on her shoulder blades and the less elaborate triangle of knotwork on the small of her back. Girl oughta wear more clothes, she was going get drunk like this. Up close, in her room, she still smelled like cinnamon, still like Sera. The smell went to his head, better than booze, just like it had ever since that first night. God, all he had to do now was smell cinnamon and he wanted her, remembered having her, remembered everything... she was his, goddamnit; every part of him screamed that she was his. He just had to show her, that was all. If he could show her, she would take him back.   
  
Okay, that was it, he had to get outta here. She'd made her choice, that ugly little scene in the hallway had showed him that. All his posturing, all his reminders, hadn't changed her mind at all. So he guessed she was Charm's, no matter what he thought, felt. His feelings weren't worth a damn if she didn't share them. And it wasn't like Charm was leaving bruises, not like Logan guessed he had, that last time before he left. God only knew, there was enough of her showing now that if the man had left bruises, Logan would be seeing them. No, she was happy. It was him who was turning   
into as big of a wuss as Charm.  
  
  
  
It was her voice. Groggy, slurred...drunk. Still her voice. And it was saying his name, gentle, like he never thought she'd say it again. His body went still, his eyes staring at her through the dark.  
  
Logan, you want something? She was so outta it, he couldn't even tell if she remembered that she was supposed to hate him right now. Maybe she couldn't even remember that they'd called it quits.  
  
Yeah, darlin', I did, he growled; the sight of her, the sound of her, the smell of her was driving him crazy. He'd lay money she was only talking cause o' that bond of theirs, that his being this near her, this desperate for her, had pulled her out of her drunken sleep. He didn't care. Hell, thinking she knew how he felt just made him want her more.   
  
What is it? was her fuzzy reply. Wha' ya wan'?  
  
he growled, his voice low and tight with frustration. Hadn't been anybody, not really, since he left her all those months ago. Couple of nameless women, just enough time with them for him to know they weren't who he wanted.  
  
Come to bed, she muttered, shifting over some.  
  
It was like the pull of gravity, like the tide. He couldn't think of one damn thing he wanted more than to crawl into bed with her, to show her what she'd been missing. He didn't even think he wanted his memory back as much as he wanted her right then. But she was drunk and he knew it. Hell, he could smell the booze from here. She was drunk and she was taken and he was a dirty old man for sneaking in in her while her defenses were down. He was a bastard for even thinking about taking her up on that offer.  
  
He knew all that and he still couldn't stop himself. He was at the side of her bed before he even knew how he got there. He was close enough to touch her. God damn, how he had missed touching her! Her eyes were half open, their strange color lost in the shadows of the room. She was staring at him. she growled, sounding sleepily annoyed. He remembered that tone of voice.  
  
Logan grabbed her, kissed her hard. Her mouth opened under his and he was dying, she felt so good. It wasn't just the kiss; it was that amazing trick of her knowing how much he wanted her and him knowing she felt the same, all of it bouncing back and forth between them like a pingpong ball. She felt good, he'd forgotten how good. She tasted like whiskey, the good stuff.  
  
And she was drunk. And she was taken. And he was a bastard but he wasn't an animal. Leastways, he tried his best not to be one. So, even though it was killing him, he pulled away, pulled the covers up so they hid her body and said roughly, Nah, darlin'. Yer tired. I'll see you in the morning.  
  
He damn near ran out the door, he was so afraid he would change his mind and do something he'd regret. If he took the bike out, and rode it as hard as it could take it, maybe he could forget what almost happened there. And barring that, maybe there was a big brick wall he could pound his head into till he came to his senses.  
  
  
  
Given the fact that Sera was going out of her not to talk to him these days, he was pretty surprised when she sought him out the next morning. Her face was so pale that her eyes looked huge and unnaturally glassy, lost as they were in all that white. She was wearing a baggy black t-shirt that read, Some days its just not worth chewing through the leather straps in the morning, and black tight-like things. Her feet were bare, the toenails were painted black to match her fingernails. Funny the things you notice, he thought to himself, during those long, awkward pauses when no one talks.  
  
she muttered finally, looking anywhere but at him. As pretty much the first sober words she'd spoken to him in a month, he was thrilled. He could live with the fact that she sounded like she'd rather be talking to a decaying corpse. She was talking.  
  
he grunted, going for that detached mood. Not that she'd buy it, there was no lying to the woman. But he felt better for trying.  
  
Her eyes kept dancing all over the place. Look, a wall! Wow, a chair! Oops, Logan! Look, another wall! Neato, the carpet! Finally, as the carpet seemed to be the thing that could hold her attention, she spoke. Look, did I do something that I need to apologize for? Cause, I don't remember much about last night, but I remember you. So, is there something I should be saying sorry for? Her words had come out in such a rush, it was hard to understand her. She was even blushing by the time that whole little speech was out.  
  
He wanted to grin, he wanted to draw it out so that she thought they had done something. But in the end, he couldn't do it. Couldn't even make her that small bit uncomfortable. Yep, he was turning into a fool for the woman. Instead, he just sighed, stared over her head-- hadn't really noticed before, that was some nice wallpaper-- and said, gruff as he could, Nah, darlin', you didn't do nothing. Nothing happened.  
  
Then why do I remember...? Her blush was a lot brighter now.  
  
You didn't do nothing. It was me. And I'm the one who oughta be saying I'm sorry. Except he didn't really remember having said he was sorry to any damn person but Rogue in the last fifteen years and that was for almost fucking killing her so he must be on drugs or something now to be apologizing to Sera.  
  
She frowned. Why were you in my room?  
  
Cause you were there, why'd you think I'd be there? She rolled her eyes and made to walk away but he grabbed her arm to stop her. Damned if he even missed fighting with her. Okay, look, it was cause Hank said you were drunk and I wanted to make sure you were okay.  
  
she snapped sarcastically, good timing for you to get a conscience, wolf-boy.  
  
Look, why'd you let yourself get that drunk in the first place? Hank said you had to want it, for it to happen.  
  
Why'd I get drunk? She was staring, incredulous. Cause I damn well wanted to. And I'll thank you to stay the hell out of my room from now on.  
  
She stormed away, furious. He just stared. Yep, he was turning into a girly man . He couldn't believe he had just let her bitch him out and all he could think was how damn good it had been to talk to her again.  
  
Maybe it had been a mistake to come back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
There's no pressure, Charm was saying from where he sat on the floor, with his back up against the wall.  
  
Sera herself sat on the floor of her room, staring into the full length mirror she had nailed to her closet door. Try as she might, she didn't see what the fuss was. Charm swore she was beautiful, incredible, exotic. Logan wasn't much for compliments but she could feel his interest from across the room. When she looked in the mirror, all she ever saw was the girl who could never fit in. Growing up, she hadn't been anything like any of the town kids. Nope, she was a Jannhanson and everybody knew she was different. No friends for her, just a lot of wide eyed stares. Jannhansons were respected, no doubt about it, but you didn't go drink your coffee with them. Living in New York, seeing with her own eyes how spooked people were by the mere mention of the word mutation, she looked at herself in the mirror and all she ever saw was a liar. Couldn't there be some sort if happy middle ground? Why did everything have to be so all or nothing? Couldn't she be something besides a liar or a freakshow?  
  
Charm loved her, she knew he did. But as much as he tried, he couldn't love the mutation, he couldn't love that parts of her that were so alien from himself. She knew how relieved he was that she looked normal, that people looked at her and thought she was human. It wasn't so much that he was ashamed, it was just that he was not proud. She wanted pride, damnit.  
  
But she had also, her whole life, wanted that amazing feeling she was sure you got once you found the place where you fit in. The place where you belonged. Charm was so all-American, so perfectly human, she was sure that with him, that fit would come. She could learn from him, how it was that people acted human. She would fit.  
  
Teaching at the school, being Terry's mom like person, well, that felt closer. Terry was proud of her, much like she was proud of Terry. And there was a lot of pride to be found in teaching these kids there own pride, their own self-respect. She loved being able to show them the many small similarities between people, the ones the made up for all the huge differences. They loved showing them how they fit, so why couldn't she find any of that peace for herself?  
  
So what was missing here? What part of the equation had she gotten wrong? Cause she still wasn't as brilliantly happy as she thought she would be. What hadn't fallen into place and left her feeling like she still didn't fit?  
  
She only knew of two ways to live. The one her mother had shown her and the one she learned from Charm. So why couldn't one of them work? How do you learn how to live?  
  
His voice interrupted her thoughts. Drifted off a little too long there, Sera my dear, she berated herself. Man's not going to wait forever. Her eyes looked down at the small object she was holding in her right hand. Gold, fourteen caret, and a diamond, in the classic brilliant cut. A solitaire engagement ring. How classic of Charm. In the flashes of light, Sera thought she could see whole worlds spin out. Whole futures.  
  
Well, Sera, what will it be? Charm sounded nervous, felt nervous. Will you make me the happiest man on earth?  
  
Sera looked at the ring, slipped it onto her finger, where it fit perfectly. It sparkled there, commitment, normalcy, everything she had ever wanted, wrapped up in one little band of metal and stone. She smiled and in the mirror she could see it was like a flash of lightening, the way it lit up her face.  
  
She knew what to do


	11. Another Kind of Love

Another Kind of Love

Another Kind of Love  
  
Ah, the moon's too bright   
The chain's too tight   
The beast won't go to sleep   
I've been running through these promises to you   
That I made and I could not keep   
Ah but a man never got a woman back   
Not by begging on his knees   
Or I'd crawl to you baby   
And I'd fall at your feet   
And I'd howl at your beauty   
Like a dog in heat   
And I'd claw at your heart   
And I'd tear at your sheet   
I'd say please, please   
I'm your man.  
  
Leonard Cohen, I'm Your Man  


  
  
It was time to go. Man didn't have to be a genius to figure out that if he was staying to win the girl, there wasn't no reason to stay anymore. Might as well get going while the going was good. His bags were packed, the bike ready to roll. And still Logan sat out here on the rock by the lake, letting the rain and the wind lash into his body. He'd come out here cause it reminded him of Sera and he wanted that one last memory before he left again.  
  
Charm had come over today, grinning like a fool. Logan himself had opened the door and it didn't take him two seconds to figure out that something was up. Cause this time Charm didn't stammer when he said hello, or slink past like he was expecting Logan to beat on him. No, this time he smiled, and that was why Logan knew that the little game the three of them had been playing was over. It was nothing but clear that Charm had figured out a way to up the ante past anything Logan was willing to pay. Yeah, the man had finally figured out how to give Sera something Logan couldn't and it didn't take a lot of guessing to figure out what that was. Logan knew what Sera wanted; hell, everyone knew what Sera wanted. Just like everyone, himself included there, knew Logan wasn't the man to give it to her. So he was leaving, so he didn't have to see the look on Sera's face after all her dreams came true.  
  
He'd given her what he could, he had. It was just that he wasn't the kind of guy who could give his life like that. Who could say he would stay and not be telling lies. He had no, what d'ya call em, illusions about himself. He'd never been able to give more than the basics of himself and it wasn't like anybody have ever wanted more from him. He was a fighter and sometimes a lover but he wasn't the kinda guy that made anybody's dreams come true. He was good at what he did, yeah, but what he did wasn't that good.  
  
He snorted, yeah, and if that wasn't him to the bone. Not really a good guy, just a guy who sometimes hung out with the good guys. He knew all along he couldn't give Sera what she needed. Girl that wild, she needed someone to calm her down, not egg her on. Charm, dull as sin like he was, was that guy. The calming type o'guy, the kind of guy she could settle down with. She was the kinda woman who wanted forever, and that was way out of his hands.  
  
He hadn't told the prof yet, but he knew ol'Chuck would understand. He always did. But before Logan went, he was gonna have this one last time of thinking about her before he tried to forget her like he had forgotten Jeannie before her. Gotta be a trend, him going so nuts over these women he could never have. These women who were too good for him, who always chose the better man. Or at least always chose the man he could never hope-- or want-- to be.  
  
So here he sat, the wind driving the rain into his face, the water frothing at his feet and he tried to get up the will to leave this place again, so soon after he had gotten back.  
  
  
A hand touched his shoulder and he didn't think that he ever ever been quite so caught off guard. The way the wind was, he couldn't get no scent but his own and the rain's, couldn't hear nothing but the storm. Even his senses had their limits. He jumped from the rock to the ground in one fluid movement. He felt pain in his hands and looked to see that he had popped his claws without thinking, looking for the threat.  
  
It was Sera. She stood behind the rock, her hair pressed flat to her face and head by the rain, her long leather coat soaked and hanging limp against her body. Under the leather she was wearing white again, the fabric so wet he could see right through it. It was like deja vu, only this time he knew what he was seeing and it was like to drive him crazy. You won't need those, she said, her voice strangely calm, her eyes oddly wide. He could see rain catch on and drip from her long black lashes.  
  
He pulled the claws back in, slowly. I guess not. What'cha want, Sera?  
  
She took a hesitant step towards him, beginning to close the distance between them. Charm asked me to marry him today. It took all his effort not to back up, not to look away from her. He knew what was coming and he didn't want to hear. And yet she looked different, she looked... haunted. Not at all what he thought she'd look like.  
  
I guessed. Congratulations. He knew he sounded bitter but he couldn't care.  
  
She went on like he hadn't said anything. I put that ring on and it was like getting everything I ever wanted.  
  
Her words twisted in his stomach. Yeah, that's great.  
  
She was still talking; her words flowed right over his, like the rain. And I looked at it, there on my hand and I looked so normal, I looked just like I always wanted to.  
  
There a reason you decided to share all this, Sera?  
  
She focused on him then, her eyes meeting his so it was like a blow to his guts. So much feeling there, he couldn't even work out what it was, only knew it wasn't his.  
  
Yeah, there is a reason I'm sharing. Cause that was when I took the ring off and handed back to Charm.  
  
Her words were like ice; he was so shocked he couldn't move. He could barely force the next words past his mouth.   
  
I gave it back. Cause looking at it there on my hand, looking at Charm there in my room and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't be what he wanted. Cause I'm not human. I wasn't even raised human. The students here, the teachers, they know how to be human cause they were raised that way. They had years to think they were human before they found out they really weren't. Me, I've always known I wasn't and I don't think I learn how now. I can't be Charm's wife because it's too human thing to do. I thought it was what I always wanted, the life I always wanted, but that's the thing with wishes. You should never make em. Cause what if they come true?  
  
So what life do you want, Sera, if you don't wanna be human? You going back to the mountains?  
  
Uh-uh. Cause I don't want my mom's life either, don't want to be that alone, that distant from humans.  
  
So what life do ya want? he repeated and it occurred to him, distantly, that he was sounding a little desperate now.  
  
I want my own. She took another step towards him and he could feel her emotions slid over him, into him. It was enough to draw him a step closer as well.   
  
Yeah, darlin'? And what's yer life like?  
  
She shook her head, spattering rain. There was a weird smile on her face, serene maybe or amazed. Don't know. Never had a real one before. She took another step closer.   
  
What'cha doing, Sera?  
  
Another head shake. Don't know. But there was a strange confidence to her words.   
  
There anything you do know?  
  
Her smile then was as bright as fire. Yeah. I know I want you. In my new life. I want you.  
  
I can't give you none of the stuff that Charm can, girl. I ain't the man for ya. But he wanted to be. God, did he want to be.  
  
You haven't been listening, Logan. I don't want that stuff, don't want that life. I want you.  
  
I ain't the marrying type.  
  
Good thing. Cause I'm not either. Aren't you paying attention here? It's a human thing and I'm not human. And, as luck would have it, neither are you.  
  
You got a point somewhere in here? His body ached to just grab her and run, or drag her to the ground or something but his brain just kept arguing that it'd be helping her to make the stupidest mistake of her life.   
  
Yeah. You mighta been human once, but whoever took your memory from you took that too. Now, all you know how to be is Wolverine, just like all I know how to be is Serendipity. You and I, we're the only two people on the whole earth who don't know what it is to be a human being.  
  
And that don't make you want to run screaming?  
  
She grabbed his face then, her hands wet and cold, and made him look her in the eye. Oh yeah, he coulda resisted, but he didn't want to. It was stupid, it was dangerous, but he wanted to see just how far she was willing to play this.  
  
He looked at her eyes then, took her dare. And then she was in his mind, like she was that first time, only he knew it was coming this time and he didn't care. Hell, he wanted it, wanted that connection.  
  
_love desire impatience you're not listening so I had to show you  
awe fear questioning this is how you feel about me  
laughter you feel anyone else in here with us  
shame darkness ain't the man for you darlin girl  
annoyance you wanna let me make up my own mind fear or don't you want me   
desperation confusion yeah but I don't know how this love stuff works  
reassurance me neither can't we just learn together  
despair panic hope I can't give you what you want  
determination this is what I want this right now today I want today  
passion desire restraint almost agony what about tomorrow  
want need love conviction there is no tomorrow I-we-you always have today  
almost lost desperation anguish I can't give you a future  
certainty still pool of calmness in a fire of need I don't want a future  
surrender no control need instinct want this  
yes want this want you now  
certainty possession yer mine  
joy laughter like the taste of crisp apples oh yeah prove it  
  
_Her skin under his hands was cool and wet, her hair like soaked silk. The leather was a pain to get rid of, and the denim, but they managed. And then she was fire in his arms and he was burning up in the feel of her body and he didn't care. He managed just a few words out loud, his mouth against her wet skin, her scent in his lungs, I wanna give you the words, but I'm lousy at em, always have been. I'm lousy with words and I can't make you no promises. This is all I can give you.  
  
Her response was almost lost in the rain and the fire. You don't need the words and I don't need the promises. This is all I want.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The heart of the storm was right above them now; every flair of lightening was answered, without pause, by thunder. There was something about the eye of a storm; the world seemed to stand still, in awe of the fury of nature. It was a time when anything could happen, anything could change. It was dark magic, it was prophecy and change, it was the end of the world and a new beginning.   
  
The end of the world? Maybe. She had sent Charm away today, heartbroken, clutching her ring in his hands and she supposed some part of her felt bad for that, but it was out of her hands. He'd find someone new, someone better. Prince Charming deserved his princess. She only felt bad about the time he had wasted with her. Even a year ago, she could not have imagined it ending this way. Amazing what a few months can change.  
  
A new beginning? Her eyes strayed to the man asleep in her bed, taking up all of the mattress. Even in his sleep, he looked wild. She wasn't kidding herself with him; there were no happy endings with this man. She knew he'd leave someday and she guessed that the day, too, would come when she would be the one to leave. It didn't matter, though, cause she figured they would always find a way to find each other again. That was enough of a commitment between them, that they would try. She guessed he'd been right when she said she was his. Road cut both ways there; he was hers now too. She knew he loved her, could feel the truth of it even if the words were beyond him. That was fine. There would never be any sort of formal ceremony between them, none of those solemn priests mouthing blessings and oaths. No rings, no words, no chains. She didn't care; they didn't need them. They had what they wanted from each other, knew what their bond was, even if there were no names for it. They matched in way that went beyond simple desire or even love. He was her mate and she was his; it was that basic a connection. Even if they never shared a name or a home or even any kind of a traditional family, that didn't change the truth of them. If it wasn't the way humans did love, well, too bad. It was they way they did it and it was good enough.  
  
In the stillness after the thunder, she heard his voice, almost as low. You coming to bed, darlin' girl?  
  
She grinned wickedly then as the edge of his feelings drifted across her mind. Bed, yeah, sleep, no. Yeah, I am.  
  
Normalcy was overrated.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
**Author's note:**   
  
First, I want to thank everybody for their kind words. This is the first thing of any length I've written since college, so I'm glad people liked it.   
  
Second, I'm anal enough that I want to give credit where due for inspiration:  
  
Chapter four's title, and the poem referenced in it are from Robert Frost's The Road Less Traveled.  
  
Chapter seven's title, The Center Does Not Hold, comes from Yeats' poem, The Second Coming, which, in my opinion, is one of the best poems ever.  
  
I've already credited Roosevelt W. for the lines in chapter nine but he's worth thanking again.  
  
The title of chapter ten, and the lyrics given, are from Leonard Cohen, poet and songwriter, and his song, I'm Your Man. If you want a great example of Cohen's work, go out and rent Pump Up the Volume; the song Harry plays at the start of his show is Cohen's Everybody Knows. The movie also plays his song, If It Be Your Will.  


  
And, last but not least, I need to thank my husband and Becky for being so supportive while I was being so incredibly silly. You guys know I love you.


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